Tag: porn

Germany Bans Erotic eBooks – No More eBook Porn?

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If you are in Germany, or will be visiting soon, make sure you don’t purchase erotic e-book before 10pm. It is illegal in the country.

According to Metro, the German government had passed a bill in 2002 to ban sales of erotic literature between 6am and 10pm. The bill has become law too and critics say it is fair enough as Germans are good at erotica.

The same law now has undergone expansion on the Internet too and it says selling of erotic electronic books during the mentioned time is illegal.

However, it is not known why such law has come across. Moreover, the country is also having problems in finding a how to implement the crazy law over the Internet as it does not adhere to any particular time zone.

Isn’t it the country that developed some of the greatest machines in the world now fails to understand how the World Wide Web works?

If you’re into erotic literature from Germany and decide to purchase it in the form of an e-book between 5am and 9pm, you are seriously breaking one of Germany’s laws.

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Naked Newsreaders XXX Support for National Team

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Venezuelan newsreaders strip naked in support of team for Copa America

It seems there’s actually a real market for naked news-reading in Venezuela.

Desnudando La Noticia – a news show seemingly based around the USP of getting naked women to broadcast stories – has previously gone viral after presenter Yuvi Pallares stripped off while reporting on Cristiano Ronaldo’s love life.

And it appears they’re about to gain internet notoriety once again after eight of their presenters bared all in support of Venezuela’s national team.

The group appear to wish the side good luck for the upcoming Copa America tournament in Chile, with the lack of clothes presumably thought to give them extra motivation.
The tournament gets underway in two days, so we’re about to find out if the message has the desired effect…
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Worlds Greatest Rocket Science Sex Toy

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Rocket scientists have been working on a revolutionary new sex toy that promises to send us into space (sorry).

MysteryVibe, the UK’s first crowdfunded sex toy purveyors, claim that the vibrator – named Crescendo – is the ‘Rolls Royce of the sex toy world’ and is going to revolutionize how women are able to control their orgasm, due to its truly adaptable design.

The 21st century sex toy allows users to change its shape and vibrations according to their desires and mood, based on the idea that ‘one size doesn’t fit all’.

The makers say: ‘Crescendo is beautifully seamless and can be bent into countless ‘exciting shapes’ – ‘I’, ‘C’, ‘S’ or anything in-between.’

And of course, it can be controlled by a smartphone App – what can’t these days?

You can even select music to play through the App that vibrates to the beat, using six vibration motors.

The high-capacity battery can be charged wirelessley and has been designed to run at full intensity for 2 hours and last for at least 4,000 hours. Should be enough time.
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World Naked Bike Ride Man Gets “Over Excited” || XXX Bike Race Erection

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World Naked Bike Ride: Nude cyclist removed by police after complaints he was ‘aroused’

One witness at the event in Canturbury, Kent, said: “I heard gasps and I turned around – it was a horrible sight”

Police were forced to intervene in a naked cycling event – after reports one of the riders got ‘overexcited’.

The ‘aroused’ cyclist was pulled aside and put his jeans back on before being spoken to by officers.

Organisers of the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR) said the rider was removed before the ride started in Canterbury, Kent, on Saturday.

The naked rides, which take place in cities and towns around the world, are organised to highlight the dangers cyclists face from cars.

Participants are permitted to cycle naked but must adhere to strict rules.

One witness said: “Everyone was taking their clothes off to get ready for the ride. I heard gasps and I turned around – it was a horrible sight.

“It’s fair to say he was overexcited and got aroused. It looked like he was enjoying the event a bit too much.

“One of the organisers went over to him and told him to put his trousers on while speaking on a walkie-talkie to police.

“The man looked sheepish when he was spoken to by the police.”

In a response to complaints posted on Facebook, ride organiser Barry Freeman said: “We do not accept this behaviour and he was dealt with and removed before the ride started.”

Organisers had previously told participants: “The police have confirmed they WILL act on ANY inappropriate behaviour and we, the organisers will support that.

“If you are coming just to be a pain in the neck and to be the one to end this WNBR we’d rather you stayed at home.”

The riders left the grounds of Canterbury Castle at about 3.30pm for a three-mile route around and through the city.

It is the third time the daring demonstration has taken place in Canterbury.

Protesters can cycle “as bare are you dare” but the rules state they must be riding bikes and there should be no skaters, or runners and riders cannot wear face masks.

Under 16s must be accompanied by an adult.

Organisers received complaints last year including about one man who turned up naked without a bike.

Kent Police said they kept a watching brief on the event.

Chief Insp Kevin Dyer said: “The primary role of Kent Police in this event is to facilitate any peaceful protest and officers have been working with organisers and partner agencies with the aim of keeping people safe and minimising disruption to the city.”

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Alarm Clock Vibrator

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Waking up just got fun: £40 alarm clock doubles up as a VIBRATOR

The slim device promises to wake you up to a different kind of buzz

It comes in three different colours and with a rechargeable battery

Now there really is no excuse for sleeping in

Have trouble waking up in the morning? Then this might just be the gadget to get you up and at ’em.
A smooth, elongated device that looks like a curved iPod, this alarm clock-cum-vibrator promises to make your mornings happier by waking you up with some good vibrations.
You programme the clock to wake you up at the desired hour, choose one of six different ‘vibrating patterns’, position the gizmo in your pants – and then wait. Come morning, the subdued buzzing emanating from your nether regions will be the only indication it’s time to wake up.

The $70 (£40) wake-up vibe comes in three different colours. The makers of the device suggest the one in pink is best for ‘good girls looking for a sexy experience of pleasure’.

The purple vibe is not only ‘the most excentric [sic] of the wake up vibes’ but also ‘an icon of inspiration, imagination and desire’. Who knew?

The black version ‘will make you wake up satisfying your darkest wishes. Glamorous and sofisticated [sic], are you ready to join the dark side?’

If you’re unsure of your answer to that question because of logistical concerns, the manufacturers insist that, even if you move around a lot at night, ‘[the vibe] will stay in the place [sic]’ as ‘it is shaped to the curves of the female body and exceptionally thin’.

The gadget comes with a rechargeable battery and different kinds of plugs, allowing you to use it ‘all over the world’. It seems there really is no excuse for sleeping in anymore.
Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2544088/Waking-just-got-fun-70-alarm-clock-doubles-VIBRATOR.html#ixzz3bATtKwLq
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

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Pinocchio Penis Tattoo Man Gets Lifetime Flying Ban

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Pinocchio Penis Tattoo Man Gets Lifetime Flying Ban – Man with Pinocchio penis tattoo gets lifetime ban from flying after showing it to passengers

A man has been banned from flying with an airline after waving a sex toy around and exposing his penis Pinocchio tattoo.
Tom Washington, 22, of Grimsby, boarded the Jet2 flight dressed up as a female cabin crew member for the lads’ holiday to Majorca.
He explained: ‘There were 23 of us altogether and we all met at East Midlands airport.
‘We got up in the early hours to do our make-up and hair like any presentable woman. We were all excited and sober at this point, and we got on to the plane with barrels of laughter from pretty much everyone – the airport staff and members of the public.
‘I got up but because my jacket was too tight, it exposed my chest which I had covered with a bra.
‘I then proceeded to help the cabin staff with the safety talk using a sex toy.’
He continued: ‘There were some old men on the plane as well and they were a laugh.

‘The lads mentioned I had a tattoo of Pinocchio, which I showed them, and that was the point where the manager took my passport.’
Steve Heapy, CEO of Jet2.com and Jet2holidays, said: ‘We carry millions of families every year so this disgusting behaviour will not be tolerated.
‘It is totally unacceptable.
‘We pride ourselves on giving our customers a friendly and relaxing flight experience so we will take action against anyone who causes offence and disruption to our crew and passengers.’
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Breastfeeding Pods, Side Boob, Privacy and Shame

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Should we be happy or insulted that NY airports have installed breastfeeding pods?

Not really sure if this is a nice gesture or a massive step back.
From Instagram and Facebook’s controversial picture policy, to Nigel Farage’s comments that breastfeeding mothers should ‘perhaps sit in the corner’, breastfeeding – or more specifically whether woman should be able to breastfeed in public – has become a pretty contentious issue.

But Vermont-based company Mamava think they have the answer in the form of ‘freestanding lactation suites’.
‘Freestanding lactation suites’ are basically breastfeeding pods, which from the pictures look very much like toilet cubicles minus the, erm, toilet.

And now, thanks to sponsorship from Seventh Generation (a company who make plant based household and personal products), there is now at least one Mamava lactation suite in each of the three New York airports (which makes us think they could be catching on over here very soon).

A post on the Seventh Generation blog, states: ‘We know that it can be difficult for mamas on-the-go to find clean and comfortable spots to pump or nurse. The Lactation Suite provides an option for nursing moms – a private oasis for women who prefer to pump or breastfeed in a calm space.’

It goes on: ‘We support breastfeeding anywhere, but we hope mamas who need a clean and private spot to pump or who prefer a quiet place to nurse will appreciate these pods.’

And while that all sounds well and good, we can’t help but wonder if this ‘solution’ is just another way of making mothers feel ashamed for doing the most natural thing in the world.

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Live TV Cum Facials || This Morning Sperm Facial Beauty Treatments

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This Morning cancels segment of women having live semen facials

This Morning seem to be calming themselves down a bit after the controversy over a recent bondage segment of the show.

They had planned to include footage which involved women moisturising their faces with the sperm of their partners.

According to science, the stuff is great for the skin if you can stomach the thought of massaging it into your face.

Bosses have decided to pull it from the lineup however, clearly thinking it may have been a step too far.

Although we would have loved to have seen the look on Schofe’s face as it all unfolded.

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Leprechaun Porn 9325% Rise In St Paddy’s Day XXX Porn

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Leprichuan Porn 9325% Rise In St Paddy’s Day XXX Porn – There was a massive spike of people searching for ‘leprechaun porn’ on St Patrick’s Day

St Patrick’s Day is seen the world over as a day to celebrate Irish culture, wear green and get hammered on Guinness.

However for some people this temporary love of all things Irish spread from their head to their… loins.

Pornhub have released figures of what sort of adult films people were searching for during St Patrick’s Day, which reveal searches for the word ‘leprechaun’ went up ‘9325 per cent compared to an average day’.

We don’t want to know how many searches their are for leprechaun porn on an ‘average day’, and frankly, we don’t wish to know.

Several other words and phrases saw a huge increase in searches on the day of Ireland’s patron saint.

‘Irish cougar’ and ‘Irish redhead’ both experienced search increases, as did ‘green hair’ bizarrely.

Horny porn lovers were even searching for videos with the words ‘St Patrick’ in the title – is that any way to honour a Saint?

Waking up with a blinding hangover and still covered with green body paint will put most people off Guinness for a good while today, and the same is apparently true of Irish themed pornography.

Pornhub say searches based on St Patrick’s day and Irish mythology dropped off soon after the day was over.

We dread to think what people are going to be searching for during the General Election.

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The Semenette Self Ejaculating Dildo Sex Toy For Couples Looking To Conceive

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Semenette Ejaculating Dildo Sex Toy For Couples – This sex toy can help you get pregnant (and give you pleasure at the same time)

If you’re trying to have a baby and the thought of being artificially inseminated by a turkey baster doesn’t appeal, look no further.

There’s a new sex toy on the market which promises to make the whole process of home insemination sexy by giving you pleasure, too.

The Semenette, created by Stephanie Berman, is an ejaculating sex toy with pump-based technology, designed for lesbian couples trying to conceive a child of their own.

Berman – a reproductive health expert from Boston – created the toy after she and wife, Kiersten Marie, were left dismayed by the options available to them.

‘The only options other than going to a doctor’s office would be with a turkey baster or a needle-less syringe,’ the entrepreneur told Refinery29.

‘We started using those types of things and quickly realized it was as awful as it sounds. There is nothing romantic or sexy and fun about trying to impregnate your wife with a turkey baster!’

Berman’s invention proved successful and she and Marie welcomed a baby girl, Isabella, in 2014, leading to a surge in popularity of the $139.99 toy.

And it’s not just lesbian couples who are buying the invention. Men with erectile dysfunction and disabilities, and transgender people are also turning to the Semenette to help them start a family with their partners.

Having sold 500 toys, Berman is now working on the second generation Semenette, which will be available in a variety of colours, shapes and widths.

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Wonderfully Weird Things We All Do

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I’ve been thinking a lot recently…. yeah I know that can be dangerous. However, do you ever find yourself doing something and not sure why you do it? Ever wonder if you are alone in this madness?

FEAR NOT, we all do weird things and I am positive we share a few.

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Vagina Selfie Stick Camera || Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator

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“Sex Selfie Stick” Lets You Take Vagina Selfies, Just Like You’ve Always Wanted

When it comes to sexting, people with penises have it all too easy — as anyone who’s ever tried to hold a mirror up to their vagina in order to insert a tampon (or check for STIs, or whatever) can tell you, it’s incredibly difficult to maneuver visual devices down there, so I’d imagine getting a good picture of your undercarriage would be near impossible. But not anymore: the invention of the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator allows you to Facetime from inside your vagina, for when topless pics simply won’t cut it. Now you can get all up in your own business without having to contort your body into weird positions, or squat over the toilet with a hand mirror, because neither of those things are particularly fun or sexy.

The device basically looks like any other vibrator you might have, with the only differences being it has a camera attached to the end with lights surrounding it so you can take high-quality (and extremely intimate) photo fodder for sexts. You can take either pictures or videos, which can then be uploaded to your computer or smartphone. The vibrator also syncs with Facetime in case you want more face-to-face — er, vag — sexy times.

I’m going to go ahead and say that syncing pics of your privates to your phone or laptop sounds like a sex scandal waiting to happen, but hey, maybe I’m just paranoid. Although, admittedly, now I’m kind of curious to know how my vagina looks from the inside, so pros and cons, maybe?

And, I mean this could be a handy way for people to learn about their bodies in a safe and private way. As online vendor Lovehoney puts it:

Orgasms are an amazing display of passion and satisfaction, from muscle spasms and curling toes to clenched hands and heavy breathing, but have you ever wondered what happens inside the body during climax? The Svakom Gaga provides all the answers…

Yep, they got me, I officially want to know.

If the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator sounds like your next bedroom must-have, you can buy it online at Lovehoney for the low (?) price of £119.99 (approximately $184). It’s actually out of stock on their site until March 16, so it just goes to show you that there really is a market for vibrator/camera hybrids. Until then, I guess you’ll just have to settle for a flashlight and a self-timer? A regular selfie stick? Long and flexible arms? Whatever works for you, I guess.

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50 Shades Of Grey Injury Explosion!

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Ouch! Sex toy related injuries have surged since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey – 50 Shades Of Grey Injury Explosion!

he NHS and London Fire Brigade are bracing themselves for a slew of sex related injuries. Because Fifty Shades of Grey hits our cinemas – and our bedrooms – this weekend.

The London Fire Brigade (LFB) said today it was ‘concerned’ the film’s release could lead to a ‘spike’ in people being stuck or trapped in handcuffs or bindings.

Since April, it has attended 393 such incidents.

Meanwhile, sex toy injuries have doubled overall since 2007. And, according to recent figures, they saw a spike in 2012 and 2013 following the release of the Fifty Shades mummy porn trilogy.

These concerning stats, reported by the Washington Post, come courtesy of the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, which has tracked casualty admissions since 1991.

Injuries relating to ‘massage devices and vibrators’ rocketed in 2012, when 2,500 people checked in at the ER. The first Fifty Shades of Grey book was released in 2011. There is no proof the two are linked, but, well, it’s safe to assume they could be.

Thankfully, most injuries incurred were not too severe.

71 per cent of patients were treated and released, with only 25 per cent requiring hospitalization. And the good news was that none of the cases required assistance from the fire department, and zero deaths were recorded.

Phew.

However, with reports that sex shops on both sides of the Atlantic are already stocking up on their sex toys ahead of the film’s release this weekend – while B&Q is warning staff to expect a run on DIY S&M items – there could be trouble ahead for an already stretched NHS.

Stay safe out there folks.

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Liberal Democrats Porn Hub Blunder

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The Lib Dems just released a poster that looks like a porn advert

Someone at the liberal Democrats HQ might just be getting a stern talking to for this one.

The deputy prime minister’s team released this publicity poster this week campaigning for the Chilcot report to be released to the public as soon as possible.

Unfortunately the person who created the artwork must have had other things on his or her mind.

That’s because the yellow square around the word ‘publish’ looks suspiciously similar to the branding for the porn website PornHub.

Just look at a few of PornHub’s recent adverts for comparison.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Steams Her Vagina – Beauty Gossip?

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Gwyneth Paltrow Steams Her Vagina || V-Steam Vagina Health Treatment – Gwyneth steaming her vagina is the best thing she’s done in years

“Hey, did you see what Gwyneth Paltrow said about vaginas?” a friend emailed the other day. Now, I tend to get a lot of email about Gwyneth Paltrow, mostly thanks to an open letter I wrote a year ago that has people convinced I need to be informed of her every move. Most of the time, my reaction is a resounding “Meh.”

But this? This, I had to see.

And I was not disappointed when I clicked the link he had sent me.

In fact, I was the opposite of disappointed. In a month of depressing news, bleak, serious events and nonstarter blizzards, Paltrow’s recent endorsement of the Mugwort V-Steam is a small bright spot of pure, genius comedy.

What’s that, you say? A Mugwort V-Steam?

It’s a Harry Potter-sounding spa treatment that is, in her own words, “a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release — not just a steam douche — that balances female hormone levels.”
Modal Trigger

Gwyneth Paltrow turned heads yet again when she showed up to the Los Angeles premiere of “Mortdecai” in a leg-bomb-baring frock.Photo: Splash News

I’m going to give you a minute to read that again: Mini-throne, uterus, steam douche. (Not included: the actual word vagina. But this is what we are talking about here.)

“If you’re in LA,” she adds, “you have to do it.”

I don’t live in LA, so I won’t be partaking of this amazing, terrifying-sounding treatment. Also, from what I’ve read, the health benefits of this are dubious at best.

“Does Paltrow think her fallopian tubes are getting tidied up in the process, too? It does not,” wrote exasperated pediatrician Russell Saunders in a Daily Beast column.

“The female reproductive tract does not need to be cleaned at all. In fact, methods of feminine cleansing like douching can do more harm than good. Women should no more steam their vaginas than flush them with Lysol.”

Granted, the V-Steam is not something Paltrow made up out of thin, steam-filled air — it’s actually a centuries-old practice in Korea called chai-yok, and its practitioners believe it can reduce stress, regulate menstrual cycles and get rid of hemorrhoids.

Still, I’m going to side with the person who actually went to medical school.

But science aside, I am starting to really enjoy Gwynnie. She’s gotten so eccentric, unaware and zanily over-the-top, that she is now on the level of Joaquin Phoenix-style performance art, with an added level of hilarious 2015 Marie Antoinette “Let them eat kale” thrown in for good measure.

She shows up in nude jumpsuits on “The Tonight Show,” performs Broadway-style raps of “Anaconda” and doles out nutty health advice.

She’s gotten people revved up enough times to know the drill: If you want people to stop, you just have to stop making grand pronouncements. Normal celebrities would have retired into a cave for a year and joined five charities in the hopes of getting better publicity, eschewing all interviews save for a quick Q&A to promote their newest movie or their latest line at Target or their most recent episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”

Not Gwyneth. She’s like, “Yeah, I know you all think I’m nuts — and no, I’m not going to shut up. I’m gonna keep talking. Next up: Steam your vagina.”

If being honest and open about who you are is a hallmark of happiness, well, then, Gwyneth Paltrow is probably one of the happiest people on the planet. She just does not care — and I like that.

She is weird enough to be one of my friends, any of our friends, really — a quirky, lively, truly bizarre mind in the body of the Prettiest Girl from High School. So with that, I say bravo, Gwyneth. Carry on with your steamed lady parts.

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