Tag: mr hairy brit

Twitter For Beginners || Twitter 101 Dummies How To Survival Guide

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Twitter For Beginners || Twitter 101 Dummies Survival Guide

Twitter is one of the largest social media platforms on the internet with a core audience being mainly 25years or younger as the most active demo graphic. However sometimes you look at it and can get confused with how to start so this is my Twitter For Beginners || Twitter 101 Dummies Survival Guide.

Twitter For Beginners || Twitter 101 Dummies Survival Guide is here to explain all you really need to now to get started.

The first step is to understand and master the vernacular. There are certain words and jargon native to Twitter that you may already have heard in passing. These terms and their abbreviations (in parentheses) are essential for understanding the network.

– Tweet: A 140-character message.

– Retweet (RT): Re-sharing or giving credit to someone else’s tweet.

– Feed: The stream of tweets you see on your homepage. It’s comprised of updates from users you follow.

– Handle: Your username.

– Mention (@): A way to reference another user by his username in a tweet (e.g. @mashable). Users are notified when @mentioned. It’s a way to conduct discussions with other users in a public realm.

– Direct Message (DM): A private, 140-character message between two people. You can decide whether to accept a Direct Message from any Twitter user, or only from users you are following. You may only DM a user who follows you.

– Hashtag (#): A way to denote a topic of conversation or participate in a larger linked discussion (e.g. #AmericanIdol, #Obama). A hashtag is a discovery tool that allows others to find your tweets, based on topics. You can also click on a hashtag to see all the tweets that mention it in real time — even from people you don’t follow.

Now there are 4 important rules you must consider in the Twitter For Beginners || Twitter 101 Dummies Survival Guide

– Don’t be a troll!
– Don’t tweet every 2 seconds!
– Never track down people by geolocation
– Remeber that jut because you have a large Twitter following doesn’t mean you be a CUNTWAFFLE!!

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The Vajankle || Fleshlight Vagina In An Ankle Foot Fetish Cure

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NSFW: Calling all foot fetishists – the vajankle is the sex toy for you

The vajankle – as its name suggests – is the unholy union of a vagina and an ankle… and it’s as disturbing as it sounds.

Unless you have a serious foot fetish that is, in which case, we’d imagine, it’s serious good times.

Sin boutique – the website selling them – explains: ‘These quirky feet have a vagina built right in at the ankle!’

They go on: ‘The vajankle is in the left foot only. You can order the vajankle independently, or as a pair with the standard right foot.’

This level of sexy silicone foot times doesn’t come cheap. In fact, the vajankle costs a toe-curling $179 (approximately £118).

Still, it’s a small price to pay for your very own shaggable foot, eh?

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Could YOU Live Without Electricity? || Random Thoughts

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Could YOU Live Without Electricity? || Random Thoughts – Life Without Electric

Have you ever considered what life would be like without electric? Electric powers everything these days from your tv to the water coming out of your tap and we have got so used to it being around we take it for granted.

Imagine if one day for no reason ……. we lost all power.. no back ups, no utilities, GONE.

Could you live without your phone, your tv, and the internet?

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Wife Cuts Off Husbands Penis… TWICE!

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Wife chops off cheating husband’s penis twice – then stray animal steals it – Wife Cuts Off Husbands Penis… TWICE! –

A wife who cut off her cheating husband’s penis sneaked back into hospital to remove it for a second time.

She allegedly flew into a rage after discovering a flirty email exchange between husband Fan Lung and his lover Zhang Hung – on her mobile phone.

The 32-year-old’s pride and joy was snipped off with a pair of scissors as he slept at his home in Shangqiu, China’s Henan province.

He was taken to hospital where he had it sewn back on. However, his fuming spouse, 30, slipped into his treatment room and cut it off again before throwing it out of a window.

‘Someone told reception a naked man was beating up a woman outside,’ a hospital spokesman said.

‘Staff found the patient with blood streaming down his legs hitting the woman. He was stopped and his wife was taken in for treatment.

‘Then we discovered she had chopped his penis off again.’

Doctors and police officers combed the area outside but failed to find the dad-of-five’s missing member.

They believe it may have been stolen by a stray dog or cat.

‘He is now in a stable condition but emotionally distraught,’ the spokesman added.

His wife was discharged and is under arrest for grievous bodily harm.

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The Girl With The Dick Tattoo || Bodyshockers

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Woman gets PENIS tattooed on her shoulder – The Girl With The Dick Tattoo || Bodyshockers

Holly Aston was horrified when she woke up after a drunken party to find her friends had inked her with a DIY tattoo gun

She is the woman with Britain’s most embarrassing tattoo.

Holly Aston awoke after a drunken party to discover a man’s WILLY on her shoulder.

And it has ruined the teenage Birmingham student’s life.

Holly, who lives in Druids Heath, HID the tattoo from her parents for two years.

But eventually the awful truth came out.

She was just 17 when she allowed drunken friends to draw a penis on her shoulder with a DIY tattoo gun she’d bought on the internet.

Holly woke up next day horrified by the graphic image permanently inked on her body.

She even turned down a holiday in Lanzarote because she feared the tattoo would be revealed.

Holly, a self-confessed former ‘wild child’ says she has now grown up and wants to move on with her life.

“I had my first tattoo done by a qualified bloke who had turned part of his house into a studio,” she told the Birmingham Mail.

“I had a large picture done on my forearm of a comic book woman. It’s supposed to be Storm from the X Men, although I just chose it out of a book because I thought it was cool. My family hated it but I still went on to get more.

“It was so easy to buy a tattoo gun off the internet for about £50. You get the full kit of needles and ink and it’s easy to operate, though they give you no instructions about keeping it sterile. We were very lucky not to get an infection or blood poisoning.

“I had tattoo parties with my mates. We’d have some drinks and tattoo each other – it was stupid.”

It was during one of those parties that things got out of hand.

“I let my mates draw whatever they wanted,” sighs Holly. “I have the word ‘Dyke’ on my ankle, and then one drew the penis on my shoulder.

“I knew what they were doing and didn’t mind at the time. It was just a joke and I thought it was funny.

“But then I woke up the next day, looked at it and thought ‘Oh God, what have I done?’.

“The joke was over and it really wasn’t funny anymore.

“I had to keep it covered up in the summer; if I went swimming I tried to cover it with plasters because I didn’t want children seeing it.

“I turned down family holidays because I was hiding it from my mum and dad. I thought they’d kill me.

“I want to go to university this year and to be taken seriously without this silly tattoo, but I can’t afford the thousands of pounds it would cost to remove it.”

Holly has a diploma in animal management and wants to study animal behaviour and welfare, with the aim of working with endangered species.

Meanwhile, she works part-time in Poundland.

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The 90’s Are Coming… Again!!

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The 90’s Are Coming… Again!!

Have you noticed how much the 1990’s are not sneaking back into the world. The 90’s are sneaking into our music, with 90’s music samples and 90’s music covers.

The 90’s are back taking over the TV with the return of Blossom (Amy Farrah Fowler) in The Big Bang Theory and Joey & Melissa Joan Hart in their respawned TV series as a merge of Blossom and Clarissa Explains It All/Sabrina The Teenage Witch.

Then we have the rebooted Star Wars and Star Trek franchises as well at Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers thanks to Michael Bay.

Generally the adult population are currently the 80-90’s kids. They are now reminiscing and revisiting their childhoods but the worry is…

When will the 00’s revivial start and what do you think will be the lovingly remade? reformed? are McBusted the first? PANIC!!

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Woman Hides Gun In Vagina

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A woman recently managed to sneak a gun past no less than four prison guards with an unusual (and highly dangerous) technique.

Josephine McAllister, 34, allegedly smuggled the handgun into the metropolitan detention centre in Albuquerque by hiding it in her vagina.

Ms McAillister had told confused officers that she had the gun concealed in her waistband during her arrest for possession of stolen credit cards and resisting arrest in December, but didn’t tell the police for fear of bringing more charges on herself.

She also claimed she managed to keep hiding the gun in her waistband the entire time she was being processed by prison officers, despite being searched many times.

Prison staff were alerted to the incident after another inmate found the gun in a bin, leading them to believe it was concealed in her genitals.

Officer Simon Drobik said: ‘We can only be so thorough, and that area is out of the question. We cannot search a body cavity.’

Let’s just hope she had the safety on.

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8 Back To The Future II Gadgets That Actually Exist

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It’s 2015, the year Doc Brown and Marty McFly flew to in Back To The Future part II. But has it lived up to the hype?

There may not be any flying cars or time-travelling Deloreans yet – but Back To The Future was alarmingly spot on with many predictions.

So here’s what it got right, and what we’re only slightly bitter about that we haven’t yet received.

Anyone fancy a rehydrated pizza?

It predicted:

1. Hands-free gaming

Remember the line ‘you have to use your hands? That’s like a baby’s toy!’?  Hello to the birth of the Xbox Kinect.

2. Flying cars

The Transition, designed by Massachusetts-based Terrafugua Inc., the company’s prototype flying car, during its first flight. The vehicle has two seats, four wheels and wings that fold up so it can be driven like a car, and flew at 1,400 feet for eight minutes during the test. Commercial jets fly at 35,000 feet. This prototype flying car goes on display at the New York Auto Show this week. March 23, 2012 photo provided by Terrafugia Inc.

OK so they’re not in mainstream use and cost $200,000 from Terrafugia, but they are around and they do exist. They have folding wings for the road and can fly 500 miles on 20 gallons of fuel. Quick lunch in Berlin, anyone?

3. 3D movies

3D movies have been around for years, but were they predicted by this giant Jaws popping out of the top of the cinema?

4. The Hoverboard
THEY EXIST! And hopefully will be available by October 2015 *crosses fingers*.

5. Power laces

Possibly the laziest invention ever, the power laces sported by Marty McFly do exist in the Nike Air Mags, although you’ll need about £5,000 for the convenience of not having to bend down in the middle of the street to tie your shoe.

6. Video communication

Oh hi there, Skype.

7. Video glasses

And hi there to you, Google Glass.

8. The thumb plate

For now you may not be able to open your home without fumbling for your house keys – but this technology exists and is in use. Example: The iPhone with thumb print unlocking.

What Back To The Future II has not yet delivered:

1. Self-drying clothes

There are clothes that dry our sweat, self-iron and repel spills, but none that are quite as good as Marty McFly’s ‘life-preserver’ jacket that dries itself in about five seconds after he falls in a pond. Anyone who went to a uni by the sea will know the need for these after a night clubbing ends with an ill-advised fully-clothed dip.

2. Predicting weather to the exact moment

This ability is definitely necessary.

3. The food hydrator

An oven that turns something the size of a digestive biscuit into a pizza that feeds a family of six? Come on Black & Decker, we need this.

4. Notable mentions: The dog-walking drone, the voice-activated fruit basket, the TV waiters, the sleep-inducing alpha-rhythm generator, the floating thing for when you put your back out, face peels that make you younger.

Sort it out, science guys.

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Creepy Life Like Harry Potter, Kate Middleton Celeb Dolls On eBay || Next Stop Sex Dolls?

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Lifelike dolls of Kate Middleton, Harry Potter and Angelina Jolie selling for thousands on eBay

Artist Noel Cruz painstakingly transforms the off-the-shelf dolls into a host of realistic celebrities including the Duchess of Cambridge and Hollywood stars

Ever fancied owning a Kate Middleton doll?

Well now you can thanks to artist Noel Cruz, who has been busy transforming boring off-the-shelf dolls into a range of celebrities. Among those you can get your hands on are Angelina Jolie, Princess Diana, Johnny Depp and

And the results are quite astounding.

Noel’s handiwork, which sells for up to £3,300 a time, can take up to three days to create as he painstakingly paints the intricate faces of each model by hand – sometimes working for eight hours straight.

Lifelike dolls of Kate Middleton, Harry Potter and Angelina Jolie selling for thousands on eBay

Artist Noel Cruz painstakingly transforms the off-the-shelf dolls into a host of realistic celebrities including the Duchess of Cambridge and Hollywood stars

Ever fancied owning a Kate Middleton doll?

Well now you can thanks to artist Noel Cruz, who has been busy transforming boring off-the-shelf dolls into a range of celebrities. Among those you can get your hands on are Angelina Jolie, Princess Diana, Johnny Depp and

And the results are quite astounding.

Noel’s handiwork, which sells for up to £3,300 a time, can take up to three days to create as he painstakingly paints the intricate faces of each model by hand – sometimes working for eight hours straight.

He removes all the paint to make a blank canvas, before repainting the face with tiny brushes, applying acrylic like makeup to each of the dolls.

The Californian artist even cuts, styles and puts mini rollers in their hair to create the exact copies of the music and movie stars.

He then sells his work on eBay.

Noel, who lives in Tustin in California, USA, said: “I became interested in this by accident as my wife has been a collector of dolls for years.

“It’s painstaking work on such a small canvas so delicately done – it can be longer than an eight-hour shift.”

While looking around the internet for dolls for his wife Emma, he noticed some of the dolls available had extremely lifelike faces.

In 2001 he decided to paint his first doll – before becoming confident enough to take on some of the planet’s biggest celebs.

The artist, 53, usually paints big Hollywood names such as characters from Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and, more recently, The Hunger Games.

In the future, Noel, who started out as a portrait artist, hopes to work on characters from hits like Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones.

But his favourite characters to create are classic Hollywood stars such as Marilyn Monroe and Bette Davis.

He added: “I gravitate towards celebrities because there are so many pictures of them available it’s more of a challenge.”

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New Year – Reach Out And Take It

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New Year – Reach Out And Take It

New Year is always a weird time of year for many people. Every year you make promises…. and not really achieve them. So which that in mind I thought Id offer some feel good 101 bad life coaching 🙂

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Stoned Man Arrested For Blowing A Horse

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Masked Man Wearing Assless Pants Arrested for Alleged Horse Fucking – Stoned Man Arrested For Blowing A Horse

A Wisconsin man was arrested in Wausau last week for alleged horse fucking after sheriff’s deputies found him in a barn with a jar of vaseline. Jared Kreft, 30, was reportedly wearing “a face mask, black jacket and blue wind pants with holes cut in the groin and buttocks areas,” and later admitted to performing oral sex on the horse.

From the Daily Herald:

He told deputies after he was arrested that he went to the barn and performed oral sex on the horse and tried to arouse the horse with his hand, according to court documents. He said he had viewed “horse pornography” before the incident.

Deputies also found a blue and red glass pipe often used for smoking marijuana and a jar of petroleum jelly.

When they searched his apartment in the city of Wausau, a detective found a small amount of marijuana, according to court documents.

Kreft was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, sexual gratification with an animal sex organ, possession of marijuana as a repeat offender, and bail jumping. He’s being held on $2,000 bond and has been ordered to stay away from the barn where his alleged crimes took place.

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17 Unmissable Movies Of 2015

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17 Unmissable Movies Of 2015 | Films Of 2015

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
When Tony Stark tries to jumpstart a dormant peacekeeping program, things go awry and it is up to the Avengers to stop the villainous Ultron from enacting his terrible plans. Dir: Joss Whedon With: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo

Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens (2015)
A continuation of the saga created by George Lucas set thirty years after Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi. Dir: J.J. Abrams With: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher

Spectre (2015)
A cryptic message from Bond’s past sends him on a trail to uncover a sinister organization. While M battles political forces to keep the secret service alive, Bond peels back the layers of deceit to reveal the terrible truth behind SPECTRE. Dir: Sam Mendes With: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Ralph Fiennes

Ant-Man (2015)
Armed with a super-suit with the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, con-man Scott Lang must embrace his inner hero and help his mentor, Dr. Hank Pym, plan and pull off a heist that will save the world. Dir: Peyton Reed With: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Hayley Atwell

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Literature student Anastasia Steele’s life changes forever when she meets handsome, yet tormented, billionaire Christian Grey. Dir: Sam Taylor-Johnson With: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle

Taken 3 (2015)
Ex-government operative Bryan Mills is accused of a ruthless murder he never committed or witnessed. As he is tracked and pursued, Mills brings out his particular set of skills to find the true killer and clear his name. Dir: Olivier Megaton With: Liam Neeson, Forest Whitaker, Maggie Grace

Cinderella (2015)
A live-action retelling of the classic fairy tale about a servant step-daughter who wins the heart of a prince. Dir: Kenneth Branagh With: Lily James, Helena Bonham Carter, Cate Blanchett

Furious 7 (2015)
Deckard Shaw seeks revenge against Dominic Toretto and his family for the death of his brother. Dir: James Wan With: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
An apocalyptic story set in the furthest reaches of our planet, in a stark desert landscape where humanity is broken… Dir: George Miller With: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult

Terminator Genisys (2015)
After finding himself in a new time-line, Kyle Reese teams up with John Connor’s mother Sarah and an aging terminator to try and stop the one thing that the future fears, “Judgement Day”. Dir: Alan Taylor With: Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Pan (2015)
The story of an orphan who is spirited away to the magical Neverland. There, he finds both fun and dangers, and ultimately discovers his destiny — to become the hero who will be forever known as Peter Pan. Dir: Joe Wright With: Hugh Jackman, Levi Miller, Jimmy Vee

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015)
When Lou, who has become the “father of the Internet,” is shot by an unknown assailant, Jacob and Nick fire up the time machine again to save their friend. Dir: Steve Pink With: Chevy Chase, Mariana Paola Vicente, Adam Scott

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015)
SpongeBob goes on a quest to discover a stolen recipe that takes him to our dimension, our world, where he tangles with a pirate. Dir: Paul Tibbitt, Mike Mitchell With: Antonio Banderas, Clancy Brown, Thomas F. Wilson

Minions (2015)
Minions Stuart, Kevin and Bob are recruited by Scarlet Overkill, a super-villain who, alongside her inventor husband Herb, hatches a plot to take over the world. Dir: Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin With: Chris Renaud, Pierre Coffin, Sandra Bullock

Ex Machina (2015)
A young programmer is selected to participate in a breakthrough experiment in artificial intelligence by evaluating the human qualities of a breathtaking female A.I. Dir: Alex Garland With: Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac, Alicia Vikander

Ted 2 (2015)
The plot is unknown at this time. Dir: Seth MacFarlane With: Mark Wahlberg, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried

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Man Called Jack Daniels Names His Son Jim Beam

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A man called Jack Daniels has named his son Jim Beam

An American man who was named after Jack Daniels whiskey has taken a similar boozy approach to his own offspring-by naming his new-born son after Jim Beam whiskey.

Jack Daniels Leathers, 32, from Louisiana, told Houma Today that his parents named him after the iconic tipple to annoy his grandparents.

He said: ‘My parents decided they wanted to name their son something to make their parents mad.

‘At the time, my dad was drinking Jack, which he enjoyed. My mom said: “why not”.’

He has now taken a similar approach toward his own children, after agreeing with 23-year old wife Lydia that Jim Beam would be a perfect name for their child.

It seems that they’re not done naming their offspring after alcohol either, and plan to name their next child Evan Williams, after the bourbon of the same name, if it is a boy, or Sherry, if it’s a girl.

In a final twist to their boozy antics, Mr Leathers also revealed that the man who officiated their wedding was called Johnny Walker, according to the newspaper.

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ASBO Sexpest Too Loud || Are You Too Loud During Sex?

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Woman given Asbo for LOUD SEX sessions says she will never be silenced – ASBO Sexpest Too Loud || Are You Too Loud During Sex?

Despite police being called 30 times, noisy neighbour Caroline Cartwright refuses to stop making a racket because “that’s what you should be doing”

A woman given an Asbo for loud SEX sessions says she will continue to make noise – as “that’s what you should be doing”.

Caroline Cartwright’s bonking sessions with husband Steve were so noisy police were called to their home to tell them to be quiet more than 30 times.

The 53-year-old from Sunderland was given an Asbo banning her from shouting, screaming or vocalising during sex.

It was put in place after she breached a noise abatement order five times and was later given a suspended jail term after going against the Asbo.

Despite facing court over the loud romping, she says she will continue having noisy sex.

Caroline, who has been married to Steve for more than 30 years, said she has no regrets after she was given a four-year anti-social behaviour order.

She said: “As far as I’m concerned, that’s what you should be doing. Just relax. Go with the flow.

“It’s not as if I’m having sex and think ‘Oh, I’m making too much noise. I better be quiet’.”

Problems began when she and Steve moved into a quiet terrace and bought a bed with an iron headboard, which banged against the wall before it broke.

She said: “I would have been judgemental about people who went to prison before I got locked up.

“But then you go in there and you hear the stories of why they’re there, it makes you realise that it could be anyone who ends up there.”

In a bid to get around restrictions, unemployed Cartwright switched the sex sessions to the morning.

However, residents, who complained she drowned out the sound of their televisions, were unimpressed.

She added: “I don’t see why I should stop having sex in my own house with my husband of 38 years.

“I’m sure there could be a lot worse things I could be doing. They all thought it was stupid I was in prison.

“I mean, I was in the same prison as people like Rose West for making a noise when I have sex.

“There could be a real crime going on while they’re busy arresting me.”

She made her comments in Asbo and Proud, shown on Channel 5 on Wednesday.

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23 Inch Mini Car || Worlds Smallest Car?

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World’s smallest car? Amazing 23-inch long micro-car cost just £155 – 23 Inch Mini Car || Worlds Smallest Car?

The tiny motor comes complete with petrol engine, brakes, gearbox, lights, horn and even a sound system

Xu Zhiyun weaves through traffic in his 23-inch long 14-inch wide home-made micro mini car.

The tiny motor comes complete with petrol engine, brakes, gearbox, lights, horn and even a sound system.

It took Xu, 60, two years to build in Shanghai, China and cost him just £155.

Looks like everybody will be wonton one soon.

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