Tag: Haha

Scottish Bloopers, Outtakes, Hangovers and Dancing | Behind The Scenes

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Breaking Bad is Back? | Students Expelled For Snorting Sweets

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Students suspended from school for snorting Smarties

A group of parents have been left outraged after their children were suspended from school for snorting sweets.

The three children, from Marshall Middle School in New Mexico, were suspended after allegedly inhaling ground-up Smarties, a form of confectionery commonly known in the UK as Fizzers.

In a letter written to the parents, the school has said that the suspension is the result of the children’s ‘possession of drugs’, despite the fact that they are not known to possess any narcotic qualities.

Kelly Cook, the mother of suspended pupil Andrew Stonelake, has said that she was shocked at the decision, and that her son had simply crushed the sweets into a powder that he could then blow at his friends, describing his behaviour as ‘horseplay’.

She added that her son and his friends had not received any prior warnings about using the sweets while at school.

The three pupils will be forced to attend a school hearing into the event next week, in order to ascertain the events surrounding their suspension.

While it might be a slight overreaction, it’s worth noting that the last time we heard about drugs being linked to a New Mexico school, a certain Walter White was involved.

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FREE Lifetime Supply Of Bacon for SEX? #FoodPorn

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‘Lifetime supply of bacon’ advertised on Gumtree… mmmm bacon

A lot of interesting things are advertised on Gumtree – from an entire flat of furniture to in-home yoga lessons.

However, this person has listed a product priceless in the eyes of many a meat eater.

They have offered a lifetime supply of bacon. The seller claims it’s free. But nothing in this world is ever free.

Here is the full description from the Hampshire-based vendor of pork:

‘I have a lifetime supply of bacon, I’m desperate to get rid because I need to shed a few piggies.

‘I know it says it’s free however I would like something in return. 😉 (The wink gives it away).’

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£712 Hula Hoop | Weird eBay Miracle

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The world’s longest Hula Hoop costs the world’s poorest decision maker £712 – £712 Hula Hoop | Weird eBay Miracle

A man showed great restraint when he opted to put an enormous Hula Hoop on eBay instead of eating it.

The move paid dividends, because someone who is either extremely rich or extremely foolish purchased it for £712.

Musician Stuart Hampton, 31, from Darnhill in Greater Manchester, promises to sell the crisp to the next highest bidder if the winner doesn’t pay up.

Either way, he hopes to put the money toward setting up his commune.

Speaking to the Manchester Evening News, Hampton said: ‘I was walking down the street just cracking up laughing about it but if I do get the money it is definitely going towards my commune.

‘The venture is known as the Freeriver Community. According to the website, it ‘is a space that will hold a spiritual and peaceful intention. It will be very free in nature with no set ideas.’

As for the lucky bidder, who’ll knows if they’ll renege on the payment?

They have to wonder: Is losing £712 on a crisp as bad as a poor buyer rating on eBay?

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Breast Milk Robbery | Topless Woman in Boob Milk Armed Robbery

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Lactating Woman Used Her Breast Milk To Rob A Pharmacy – Breast Milk Robbery | Boob Milk Armed Robbery

An unidentified woman in Germany used her lactating breasts as part of a scheme to steal money from a pharmacy’s cash register. Police in Darmstadt said that the woman approached the cash register, exposing her breasts while pretending to buy a breast pump and squirted milk at the cashier. She used the squirt attack as a distraction to reach into the cash register, grab a handful of money and run out of the store. She continued to squirt anyone in her path as she ran past another counter and attempted to take money from another cash register before leaving the store.

We assume it was like the lobby scene from The Matrix, only with way more breast milk.

There are serious concerns about the availability of weapons especially for those who wish to use them for nefarious purposes. It’s got a lot of people up in arms (no pun intended) because they are considered sacrosanct as a Constitutional right. Well, imagine the uproar that would ensue now that we know that women’s breasts can be used as a weapon and no, that’s not the beginning of a pick up line.

Police believe that she intended to use her squirting ta-tas as a distraction and she could face theft or even robbery charges if she’s captured. If one of the clerks was lactose intolerant, she might even get an assault charge. At least we could only hope.

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Babestation Porn Accident For Posh Estate Agent Window Display

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Upmarket London estate agents show PORN on shop window TV – but staff aren’t being blamed

Satellite adult channel Babestation was inadvertently broadcast from the plush Notting Hill office of Faron Sutaria

What do estate agents sell at night? Not houses if this hilarious picture is anything to go by.

You’d need a treasure chest of cash to afford the plush properties that retail for £1million-plus in the affluent area of upmarket Notting Hill in west London.

But it was a treasured chest of a different kind that greeted shocked passers-by who looked in the window of Faron Sutaria one evening.

Because instead of magnificent mansions or top townhouses, it was the bare breasts and shaking bum of a model from late-night adult TV channel Babestation that greeted property hunters.

Twitter user @TheLondonLuke tweeted the hilarious pic earlier this month asking the estate agents: “Sacked anyone lately?”

A spokesperson for the estate agent blamed a “mischief-maker” for the porno prank.

He told the Metro: “We believe a mischief-maker changed the channel on the television from the outside using a universal remote. We have now altered the system so this cannot happen again.”

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Breast Milk Boob Butter | The Boob Based Food Porn

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Breast Milk Butter | The Boob Based Food Porn – Woman makes butter from her own breast milk – then eats it

A woman has made butter out of her own breast milk and then eaten it.

Reddit user WhatMichelleDoes spent around an hour shaking breast milk she had drained from herself until tiny beads of butter began to form.

Michelle, who posted photographs of her ‘butter’ on Imgur and Reddit, then admitted she had tried some of the homemade concoction.

She said she ate it straight without any bread or salt.

Asked what it tasted like she claimed: ‘It was the sweetest, creamiest butter I have ever tasted.’

Here is how she did it:

First, Michelle squeezed around 2oz of her breast milk into a yellow cup.

She placed a lid on top and began to shake it.

After 20 minutes – she moved it into a larger container because it wasn’t working.

Eventually, something solid began to appear.

Forty minutes of vigorous shaking later, she noticed tiny balls begin to form. She placed this onto the lid of a container.

It was butter! She then taste tested it to confirm saying it was the ‘sweetest, creamiest butter she had ever tasted’.

Since posting the images, Michell has vowed to try again with more breast milk to create more butter. Perhaps enough for a slice of toast next time?

Breast milk has been used to make icecream and cheese in the past. Breast milk icecream was sold in Covent garden recently for £14 a pot and was called Baby Gaga.

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Burglar Arrested After Raping Teddy Bear | Furry Teddy Bear Sex?

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Desperate burglar who had sex with TEDDY BEAR during raid is caught after DNA match

Paul Mountain, who violated the toy and was caught when his semen was found, said he felt an ‘overwhelming need’ for sexual relief

A randy burglar was caught after he had sex with a teddy bear while raiding a shed – and police discovered his DNA inside the toy.

Paul Mountain, 38, said he was coming down from amphetamines and felt an ‘overwhelming need’ for sexual relief, the Lancashire Telegraph reports.

It is believed he cut a hole inside the defenceless bear before getting down to business.

Blackburn Magistrates Court heard that the owner of an allotment found a shed had been broken into and the contents were spread all around.

On the floor among the wreckage she found the teddy bear – used and abused.

Prosecutor, Domenic Howells said: “The teddy bear was passed to the police and semen found inside came back to this defendant.

“He told officers he was coming down off amphetamine and felt overwhelming need for sexual relief.”

The warped crook, of Darwen, Lancs, pleaded guilty to burglary with intent to steal and was bailed for the preparation of a pre-sentence report.

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Pigs Can Fly And We Have Proof… Maybe

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Pulleyed pork: Chinese farmer invents harness system to ‘fly’ pigs from his truck

A Chinese pig farmer has invented an elaborate pulley and rope system that carries his animals through the air from one truck to another.

It is probably the most elaborate way to avoid employing another pair of hands in the rich history of pig farming.

But farmer Sying P’an said he was sick of having to chase pigs around when they made a bolt for freedom each time he tried walking them from truck to truck.

Now, with the aid of some ropes, pulleys and an uncomfortable-looking ‘harness’, he simply flies them though the air so their mischievous trotters don’t even touch the ground.

The 43-year-old regularly takes his pigs to market in Weinan, in north-western China’s Shaanxi province.

He said: ‘At every market a few escape artists would always cause me trouble and often I would never get them back.

‘You only have to lose a few and that makes the whole load a loss maker.’

So he came up with his contraption, based on the on the Navy’s bosun’s chair, which is used to ferry sailors from ship to ship while at sea.

He claims his pig puller is a hit with the local townsfolk, although the jury’s still out on whether the pigs find it as amusing.

He said: ‘I get a lot of people coming to the town when I am there just to see the pigs sailing through the air.

‘They’re all healthy and they land in good condition – they don’t seem to mind the journey when they see the other pigs are not harmed, pigs are smart animals.’

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Coolio To Team Up With PornHub

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Coolio set to premiere his latest music video on PornHub

Coolio, remember him? Well he’s still desperately trying to bag that follow-up hit to his 90s rap classic Gangsta’s Paradise.

And for his latest shot at the big time he’s teamed up with internet porn sharing site PornHub.

According to Hollywood gossip site TMZ, PornHub provided the ‘talent’ (read video chicks) for the video, and have struck a deal with the ageing rapper to premiere the resulting video for the appropriately named Take It To The Hub on their site.

We can’t work out who comes out worse in this scenario, Coolio or PornHub. Actually scrap that it’s PornHub, definitely PornHub. Coolio? Really? What were they thinking?

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Naked selfies extracted from ‘factory reset’ phones

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Experts Recover Dick Pics and Naked Photos from Smartphones – Naked selfies extracted from ‘factory reset’ phones

Thousands of pictures including “naked selfies” have been extracted from factory-wiped phones by a Czech Republic-based security firm.

The firm, called Avast, used publicly available forensic security tools to extract the images from second-hand phones bought on eBay.

Other data extracted included emails, text messages and Google searches.

Experts have warned that the only way to completely delete data is to “destroy your phone”.

Most smartphones come with a “factory reset” option, which is designed to wipe and reset the device, returning it to its original system state.

However, Avast has discovered that some older smartphones only erase the indexing of the data and not the data itself, which means pictures, emails and text messages can be recovered relatively easily by using standard forensic tools that anyone can buy and download.

The company claims that of 40,000 stored photos extracted from 20 phones purchased from eBay, more than 750 were of women in various stages of undress, along with 250 selfies of “what appears to be the previous owner’s manhood”.

There was an additional 1,500 family photos of children, 1,000 Google searches, 750 emails and text messages and 250 contact names and email addresses.

The company said: “Deleting files from your Android phone before selling it or giving it away is not enough. You need to overwrite your files, making them irretrievable.”

It was not made clear by Avast whether they extracted data from all 20 phones.
Destroy the phone

Google responded that Avast used outdated smartphones and that their research did not “reflect the security protections in Android versions that are used by the vast majority of users”.

It was recommended by Google that all users enable encryption on their devices before applying a factory reset to ensure files cannot be accessed.

This feature, said Google, has been available for three years, although it is not enabled by default, which could leave less tech-savvy users open to attack.

Apple has had built-in encryption for its hardware and firmware since the release of the iPhone 3GS.

The hardware encryption is permanently enabled and users cannot turn it off.

Additional file data protection is available, but must be turned on in the settings menu.

Independent computer security analyst Graham Cluley said that if a user is serious about privacy and security they should make sure their device is always “protected with a PIN or passphrase, and that the data on it is encrypted”.

However, Alan Calder, founder of cybersecurity and risk management firm IT Governance, told the BBC that erasing data, even after it has been encrypted, will not be enough to completely protect your device.

“Google’s recommended routine for protecting the data only makes it harder for someone to recover the data – it does not make it impossible,” he said.

“If you don’t want your data recovered, destroy the phone – and that has been standard security advice, in relation to telephones and computer drives, for a number of years. Any other ‘solution’ simply postpones the point at which someone is able to access your confidential data.”

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Woman Teaches WORLDS DEADLIEST BLOWJOB Technique

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Killer blow job: Sexpert says her technique is so good it can kill you

Warning: This article is definitely NSFW

A woman claims her fellatio technique is so effective that men have died mid-blow job.

Sexpert Auntie Angel, AKA Denise Walker, told VICE her unique blow job move — dubbed the ‘Death Technique’ — has caused ‘massive heart attacks’ in men.

In a video on her YouTube channel, Angel, 43, explains her signature method, which involves a warm grapefruit with a hole in it and a bizarre, hoover-like noise.

The former mechanic, who revealed she got the idea when experimenting with fruit on a former boyfriend, said: ‘I have had women who have given their men my blowjobs and the men have passed away.’

As for the hoover noise — described by one YouTube user as ‘a vacuum cleaner dealing with a very thick carpet’ — Angel said she ‘wanted to do something that was so out-of-the-box that he would never forget you until the day he died.’

Chicago-based Angel has reportedly taught over 50,000 people in the last 10 years at her sex classes.

‘My advice for women is to become a beast,’ she said, but warned:

‘You suck at your own risk!’

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