Tag: bblogger

VEDA Day 7 – The One With The Yorkshire Canals

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VEDA stands for Vlog Every Day in April and is a YouTube Challenge for vloggers to encourage vloggers to Vlog Every Day in April.

With this in mind my Vlog Every Day in April VEDA videos will be about the pictures on my wall.

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50 Bad Chat Up Lines You Should NEVER Use

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Some chat up lines are bad, some chat up lines are cute, some chat up lines are harmless and some chat up lines should be ilegal…. here are a few bad chat up lines you should never use.

Did you ever realize screw rhymes with me and you?
Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
My two favorite letters of the alphabet E Z.
Theres a party in my pants and your invited.
I’m addicted to yes, and I’m allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?
Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?
Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest?
Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!
Don’t be so picky…. I wasn’t!
I just shit in my pants… Can I get in yours?
I lost my virginity… can I have yours?
I may not be able to knock bottom, but I’ll scrape the shit out of the sides!
My body is telling me yes. I hope yours is doing the same thing.
Is there a magnet in your pants? (Why?) Cause I’m attracted to your buns of steel!
Here is $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.
Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy
Oh no, I’m choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex
It may be a needle, but it works like a sewing machine
Do you need a napkin? Because you look DIRTY!!!
Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
I’m gay but you might just turn me straight.
What’s your favorite silverware?..because I like to spoon!
Is that a tic-tac in your blouse or are you just glad to see me?
Be unique and different, just say yes.
If I filp a coin what are my chances of getting head?
Hey there you look good, how many guys do I have to wait behind?
Nice socks, can I try them on?
Blonde, James Blonde… Jr.
Hey, somebody farted. Lets get out of here!
You’ve got the whitest teeth I have ever seen!
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?
Can I have directions?… to your heart?
Hi, are you legal? No, your to hot to be legal.
I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
Nice socks, can I try them on?
Can I carry your books?
Your father must be a drug dealer, cuz you dope!
Hi, will you reject me if I try and pick you up?
So I heard you got the hots for me!
Are you tired? cuz you’ve been running around in my mind all day!
Are those space pants? cuz your legs are out of this world!
Do you mind if I stare at you up close, instead of from across the room?
Hey baby, got any cavities?
Are you a model?
If beauty were measured in seconds, you’d be an hour!
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Hey, I’m bored. Entertain me and I’ll buy you a beer.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Hey honey, I got money!
My name is Peter Pan, cuz I can take you to Never Never Land.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
Do you always wear your shoes over your socks?
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Vagina Selfie Stick Camera || Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator

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“Sex Selfie Stick” Lets You Take Vagina Selfies, Just Like You’ve Always Wanted

When it comes to sexting, people with penises have it all too easy — as anyone who’s ever tried to hold a mirror up to their vagina in order to insert a tampon (or check for STIs, or whatever) can tell you, it’s incredibly difficult to maneuver visual devices down there, so I’d imagine getting a good picture of your undercarriage would be near impossible. But not anymore: the invention of the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator allows you to Facetime from inside your vagina, for when topless pics simply won’t cut it. Now you can get all up in your own business without having to contort your body into weird positions, or squat over the toilet with a hand mirror, because neither of those things are particularly fun or sexy.

The device basically looks like any other vibrator you might have, with the only differences being it has a camera attached to the end with lights surrounding it so you can take high-quality (and extremely intimate) photo fodder for sexts. You can take either pictures or videos, which can then be uploaded to your computer or smartphone. The vibrator also syncs with Facetime in case you want more face-to-face — er, vag — sexy times.

I’m going to go ahead and say that syncing pics of your privates to your phone or laptop sounds like a sex scandal waiting to happen, but hey, maybe I’m just paranoid. Although, admittedly, now I’m kind of curious to know how my vagina looks from the inside, so pros and cons, maybe?

And, I mean this could be a handy way for people to learn about their bodies in a safe and private way. As online vendor Lovehoney puts it:

Orgasms are an amazing display of passion and satisfaction, from muscle spasms and curling toes to clenched hands and heavy breathing, but have you ever wondered what happens inside the body during climax? The Svakom Gaga provides all the answers…

Yep, they got me, I officially want to know.

If the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator sounds like your next bedroom must-have, you can buy it online at Lovehoney for the low (?) price of £119.99 (approximately $184). It’s actually out of stock on their site until March 16, so it just goes to show you that there really is a market for vibrator/camera hybrids. Until then, I guess you’ll just have to settle for a flashlight and a self-timer? A regular selfie stick? Long and flexible arms? Whatever works for you, I guess.

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Weasel Rides Woodpecker? || Animals Ride Animals

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Weasel rides woodpecker in dramatic mid-air scrap – Weasel Rides Woodpecker? || Animals Ride Animals

But the picture, taken yesterday by Martin Le-May in east London, is not as friendly as it first seems

This stunning picture shows the moment a hungry weasel appears to take flight on the back of a woodpecker.

The remarkable encounter was captured yesterday by photographer Martin Le-May at Hornchurch Country Park in east London.

He spotted the baby mammal eyeing up its next meal before pouncing on the colourful bird.

Martin captured the dramatic incident on camera while out walking with his wife Ann on Monday afternoon.

The weasel pounced on the much larger woodpecker to try and eat it while it was on the ground in Hornchurch Country Park in Essex.

It then fiercely clung onto its terrified intended meal as the bird took off and flew around before finally shaking it off.

Martin, 52, said he “feared the worst” for the green bird after hearing “distressed squawking” during the struggle.

“We had gone out because my wife had never seen a green woodpecker before and wanted to see one,” he said.

“After about 20 minutes we hear this really loud screeching like a distressed squawking.

“I flicked my head around and I saw this flash of green as a woodpecker flew in front of us about 30m to 35m away.

“It seemed to be hopping around strangely as if it was stepping on a hot surface.

“Then it flew across and towards us. I realised it had something small and furry on its back and that there was a desperate struggle for life going on.

“At that stage I didn’t know what it was. It didn’t have a long tail like a rat or a bushy tail like a squirrel

“The woodpecker flew for around 15m and got about 6ft off the ground before landing directly in front of us about 25m away.

“We feared the worst and started walking towards it, expecting to find the woodpecker had been killed.

“But I think our presence, momentarily distracted the weasel so that it released its prey.

“The woodpecker then seized the opportunity and flew up and away into some bushes to our left. You could see that it was shaken, but it was still in one piece.

“We went over and there was no sign of the little mammal that had been on its back.

“It is the most amazing set of pictures I have ever taken. To get a weasel on the back of a woodpecker is incredible.

“It is an unbelievably unusual to witness something like this and I guess it is just a chance in a million.

“It is certainly not something you expect to see on a walk around Hornchurch.

“You can see the look of terror on the bird’s face because it does not want to end up as a weasel’s next meal.”

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Village Plagued By Outdoor Sex

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Village Plagued By Outdoor Sex

A village is having to go to drastic measures to stop people from having outdoor sex.

Cotswold Way in Hinton, near Bristol, is something of a sexual hotbed according to locals who say it has been happening for years.

And now the local parish council is now seeking advice to combat the problem with that well known libido killer: Signposts.

Kerry Sawyer, chairman of the council, said anyone who sees others romping should call the police.

Angela Gent, who runs a hotel, spotted a couple getting down and dirty in full view.

She told the BBC: ‘At this point they were just coming out of the bushes and putting themselves away so to speak… What became intimidating was one man started to follow me.

‘It’s been notorious for years… people either find it funny or choose to ignore it or they don’t feel they’ll get listened to or anything will get done.’

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Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) Dating Harry?

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Is Prince Harry dating Emma Watson?

Is Prince Harry dating Emma Watson? Is Hermione FINALLY going to end up with Harry? Will their child be called the Half-Blood prince?

SO MANY QUESTIONS!

While most of us are still reeling from the news that Bobby killed Lucy Beale in EastEnders, there’s a new shock to stomach now reports are out that Prince Harry is apparently dating none other than newly single Emma Watson.

The pair are said to have really hit it off and have been hanging out. According to Australian site Woman’s Day, Harry masterminded a date with her but kept things casual by inviting mutual friends along too.

‘Harry didn’t want her to feel like she was put on the spot. A party also shows he’s fun and not stuffy. He’s smitten – and it’s more than Emma’s looks,’ a source told the site.

But never mind the details – now the gossip is out do you think this is the right Harry? Why not Harry Potter? Harry Styles? Or is Harry Windsor the perfect Hermione and Harry Fan Fiction?

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50 Shades Of Grey Injury Explosion!

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Ouch! Sex toy related injuries have surged since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey – 50 Shades Of Grey Injury Explosion!

he NHS and London Fire Brigade are bracing themselves for a slew of sex related injuries. Because Fifty Shades of Grey hits our cinemas – and our bedrooms – this weekend.

The London Fire Brigade (LFB) said today it was ‘concerned’ the film’s release could lead to a ‘spike’ in people being stuck or trapped in handcuffs or bindings.

Since April, it has attended 393 such incidents.

Meanwhile, sex toy injuries have doubled overall since 2007. And, according to recent figures, they saw a spike in 2012 and 2013 following the release of the Fifty Shades mummy porn trilogy.

These concerning stats, reported by the Washington Post, come courtesy of the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, which has tracked casualty admissions since 1991.

Injuries relating to ‘massage devices and vibrators’ rocketed in 2012, when 2,500 people checked in at the ER. The first Fifty Shades of Grey book was released in 2011. There is no proof the two are linked, but, well, it’s safe to assume they could be.

Thankfully, most injuries incurred were not too severe.

71 per cent of patients were treated and released, with only 25 per cent requiring hospitalization. And the good news was that none of the cases required assistance from the fire department, and zero deaths were recorded.

Phew.

However, with reports that sex shops on both sides of the Atlantic are already stocking up on their sex toys ahead of the film’s release this weekend – while B&Q is warning staff to expect a run on DIY S&M items – there could be trouble ahead for an already stretched NHS.

Stay safe out there folks.

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Sex Theme Park With Giant Penis Rides Opens In Taiwan

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‘Sex theme park’ with giant penis rides to open in Taiwan

A sex theme park where tourists can ride astride gigantic stone penises with realistic scrotums is under construction in Taiwan.

The park will be called ‘Romantic Boulevard’, and will include an outdoor garden filled with erotic sculptures of mammoth phalluses, as well as statues of people and animals making love.

The mastermind behind the ‘sex park’ also hopes to build a hotel in case all the penises drive guests wild with desire.

The park will also include a ‘scenic area’ for wedding photos (hopefully not right next to the giant penises), and is to be based on South Korea’s popular Jeju Park (pictured).

‘We want people to fall in love with Taiwan, as well as fall in love while in Taiwan,’ said Shih Chao-hui, the deputy director of the local tourist office.

Shih claims that 200,000 visitors have already come to marvel at the giant dongs, and hopes to build a hotel into the park ‘just in case visitors want to turn their feelings into actions’.

Shih pooh-poohed suggestions that the park’s avenues of male members might offend visitors.

‘Look, we are in the business of tourism, not education or religion, so the question should be, “will the park generate business opportunities?”

‘We believe the answer is yes,’ Shih added.

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10 Top Tips For The Perfect Nights Sleep

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10 Tips For The Perfect Nights Sleep

Healthy sleep habits can make a big difference in your quality of life. Having healthy sleep habits is often referred to as having good “sleep hygiene.”

Try to keep the following sleep practices on a consistent basis:

1 – Stick to the same bedtime and wake up time, even on the weekends. This helps to regulate your body’s clock and could help you fall asleep and stay asleep for the night.

2 – Practice a relaxing bedtime ritual.
A relaxing, routine activity right before bedtime conducted away from bright lights helps separate your sleep time from activities that can cause excitement, stress or anxiety which can make it more difficult to fall asleep, get sound and deep sleep or remain asleep.

3 – Avoid naps, especially in the afternoon.
Power napping may help you get through the day, but if you find that you can’t fall asleep at bedtime, eliminating even short catnaps may help.

4 – Exercise daily.
Vigorous exercise is best, but even light exercise is better than no activity. Exercise at any time of day, but not at the expense of your sleep.

5 – Evaluate your room.
Design your sleep environment to establish the conditions you need for sleep. Your bedroom should be cool – between 60 and 67 degrees. Your bedroom should also be free from any noise that can disturb your sleep. Finally, your bedroom should be free from any light. Check your room for noises or other distractions. This includes a bed partner’s sleep disruptions such as snoring. Consider using blackout curtains, eye shades, ear plugs, “white noise” machines, humidifiers, fans and other devices.

6 – Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows.
Make sure your mattress is comfortable and supportive. The one you have been using for years may have exceeded its life expectancy – about 9 or 10 years for most good quality mattresses. Have comfortable pillows and make the room attractive and inviting for sleep but also free of allergens that might affect you and objects that might cause you to slip or fall if you have to get up during the night.

7- Use bright light to help manage your circadian rhythms.
Avoid bright light in the evening and expose yourself to sunlight in the morning. This will keep your circadian rhythms in check.

8 – Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and heavy meals in the evening.
Alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine can disrupt sleep. Eating big or spicy meals can cause discomfort from indigestion that can make it hard to sleep. It is good to finish eating at least 2-3 hours before bedtime.

9 – Wind down. Your body needs time to shift into sleep mode, so spend the last hour before bed doing a calming activity such as reading. For some people, using an electronic device such as a laptop can make it hard to fall asleep, because the particular type of light emanating from the screens of these devices is activating to the brain. If you have trouble sleeping, avoid electronics before bed or in the middle of the night.

10 – If you can’t sleep, go into another room and do something relaxing until you feel tired. It is best to take work materials, computers and televisions out of the sleeping environment. Use your bed only for sleep and sex to strengthen the association between bed and sleep. If you associate a particular activity or item with anxiety about sleeping, omit it from your bedtime routine.

If you’re still having trouble sleeping, don’t hesitate to speak with your doctor or to find a sleep professional. You may also benefit from recording your sleep in a Sleep Diary to help you better evaluate common patterns or issues you may see with your sleep or sleeping habits.

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Liberal Democrats Porn Hub Blunder

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The Lib Dems just released a poster that looks like a porn advert

Someone at the liberal Democrats HQ might just be getting a stern talking to for this one.

The deputy prime minister’s team released this publicity poster this week campaigning for the Chilcot report to be released to the public as soon as possible.

Unfortunately the person who created the artwork must have had other things on his or her mind.

That’s because the yellow square around the word ‘publish’ looks suspiciously similar to the branding for the porn website PornHub.

Just look at a few of PornHub’s recent adverts for comparison.

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15 Year Old Boy Shot In Penis By His Friend

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15 Year Old Boy Shot In Penis By His Friend

A teenage boy in America was hospitalised after a friend accidentally shot him in the penis.

In a frantic 911 call, the unnamed 15-year-old, from Collier County, Florida, can be heard telling police how he received injuries to his arm and penis after the weapon accidentally discharged.

Police have said that while the teen initially refused to cooperate with their investigation, he eventually admitted that his friend had accidentally fired the weapon, but told him to leave so he would not get in trouble.

A teenage boy in America was hospitalised after a friend accidentally shot him in the penis.

In a frantic 911 call, the unnamed 15-year-old, from Collier County, Florida, can be heard telling police how he received injuries to his arm and penis after the weapon accidentally discharged.

Police have said that while the teen initially refused to cooperate with their investigation, he eventually admitted that his friend had accidentally fired the weapon, but told him to leave so he would not get in trouble.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Steams Her Vagina – Beauty Gossip?

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Gwyneth Paltrow Steams Her Vagina || V-Steam Vagina Health Treatment – Gwyneth steaming her vagina is the best thing she’s done in years

“Hey, did you see what Gwyneth Paltrow said about vaginas?” a friend emailed the other day. Now, I tend to get a lot of email about Gwyneth Paltrow, mostly thanks to an open letter I wrote a year ago that has people convinced I need to be informed of her every move. Most of the time, my reaction is a resounding “Meh.”

But this? This, I had to see.

And I was not disappointed when I clicked the link he had sent me.

In fact, I was the opposite of disappointed. In a month of depressing news, bleak, serious events and nonstarter blizzards, Paltrow’s recent endorsement of the Mugwort V-Steam is a small bright spot of pure, genius comedy.

What’s that, you say? A Mugwort V-Steam?

It’s a Harry Potter-sounding spa treatment that is, in her own words, “a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release — not just a steam douche — that balances female hormone levels.”
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Gwyneth Paltrow turned heads yet again when she showed up to the Los Angeles premiere of “Mortdecai” in a leg-bomb-baring frock.Photo: Splash News

I’m going to give you a minute to read that again: Mini-throne, uterus, steam douche. (Not included: the actual word vagina. But this is what we are talking about here.)

“If you’re in LA,” she adds, “you have to do it.”

I don’t live in LA, so I won’t be partaking of this amazing, terrifying-sounding treatment. Also, from what I’ve read, the health benefits of this are dubious at best.

“Does Paltrow think her fallopian tubes are getting tidied up in the process, too? It does not,” wrote exasperated pediatrician Russell Saunders in a Daily Beast column.

“The female reproductive tract does not need to be cleaned at all. In fact, methods of feminine cleansing like douching can do more harm than good. Women should no more steam their vaginas than flush them with Lysol.”

Granted, the V-Steam is not something Paltrow made up out of thin, steam-filled air — it’s actually a centuries-old practice in Korea called chai-yok, and its practitioners believe it can reduce stress, regulate menstrual cycles and get rid of hemorrhoids.

Still, I’m going to side with the person who actually went to medical school.

But science aside, I am starting to really enjoy Gwynnie. She’s gotten so eccentric, unaware and zanily over-the-top, that she is now on the level of Joaquin Phoenix-style performance art, with an added level of hilarious 2015 Marie Antoinette “Let them eat kale” thrown in for good measure.

She shows up in nude jumpsuits on “The Tonight Show,” performs Broadway-style raps of “Anaconda” and doles out nutty health advice.

She’s gotten people revved up enough times to know the drill: If you want people to stop, you just have to stop making grand pronouncements. Normal celebrities would have retired into a cave for a year and joined five charities in the hopes of getting better publicity, eschewing all interviews save for a quick Q&A to promote their newest movie or their latest line at Target or their most recent episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”

Not Gwyneth. She’s like, “Yeah, I know you all think I’m nuts — and no, I’m not going to shut up. I’m gonna keep talking. Next up: Steam your vagina.”

If being honest and open about who you are is a hallmark of happiness, well, then, Gwyneth Paltrow is probably one of the happiest people on the planet. She just does not care — and I like that.

She is weird enough to be one of my friends, any of our friends, really — a quirky, lively, truly bizarre mind in the body of the Prettiest Girl from High School. So with that, I say bravo, Gwyneth. Carry on with your steamed lady parts.

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