Tag: anal

Germany Bans Erotic eBooks – No More eBook Porn?

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If you are in Germany, or will be visiting soon, make sure you don’t purchase erotic e-book before 10pm. It is illegal in the country.

According to Metro, the German government had passed a bill in 2002 to ban sales of erotic literature between 6am and 10pm. The bill has become law too and critics say it is fair enough as Germans are good at erotica.

The same law now has undergone expansion on the Internet too and it says selling of erotic electronic books during the mentioned time is illegal.

However, it is not known why such law has come across. Moreover, the country is also having problems in finding a how to implement the crazy law over the Internet as it does not adhere to any particular time zone.

Isn’t it the country that developed some of the greatest machines in the world now fails to understand how the World Wide Web works?

If you’re into erotic literature from Germany and decide to purchase it in the form of an e-book between 5am and 9pm, you are seriously breaking one of Germany’s laws.

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Naked Newsreaders XXX Support for National Team

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Venezuelan newsreaders strip naked in support of team for Copa America

It seems there’s actually a real market for naked news-reading in Venezuela.

Desnudando La Noticia – a news show seemingly based around the USP of getting naked women to broadcast stories – has previously gone viral after presenter Yuvi Pallares stripped off while reporting on Cristiano Ronaldo’s love life.

And it appears they’re about to gain internet notoriety once again after eight of their presenters bared all in support of Venezuela’s national team.

The group appear to wish the side good luck for the upcoming Copa America tournament in Chile, with the lack of clothes presumably thought to give them extra motivation.
The tournament gets underway in two days, so we’re about to find out if the message has the desired effect…
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Worlds Greatest Rocket Science Sex Toy

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Rocket scientists have been working on a revolutionary new sex toy that promises to send us into space (sorry).

MysteryVibe, the UK’s first crowdfunded sex toy purveyors, claim that the vibrator – named Crescendo – is the ‘Rolls Royce of the sex toy world’ and is going to revolutionize how women are able to control their orgasm, due to its truly adaptable design.

The 21st century sex toy allows users to change its shape and vibrations according to their desires and mood, based on the idea that ‘one size doesn’t fit all’.

The makers say: ‘Crescendo is beautifully seamless and can be bent into countless ‘exciting shapes’ – ‘I’, ‘C’, ‘S’ or anything in-between.’

And of course, it can be controlled by a smartphone App – what can’t these days?

You can even select music to play through the App that vibrates to the beat, using six vibration motors.

The high-capacity battery can be charged wirelessley and has been designed to run at full intensity for 2 hours and last for at least 4,000 hours. Should be enough time.
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Live TV Cum Facials || This Morning Sperm Facial Beauty Treatments

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This Morning cancels segment of women having live semen facials

This Morning seem to be calming themselves down a bit after the controversy over a recent bondage segment of the show.

They had planned to include footage which involved women moisturising their faces with the sperm of their partners.

According to science, the stuff is great for the skin if you can stomach the thought of massaging it into your face.

Bosses have decided to pull it from the lineup however, clearly thinking it may have been a step too far.

Although we would have loved to have seen the look on Schofe’s face as it all unfolded.

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iWatch Porn Erotic Fan Fiction

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iWatch Porn Erotic Fan Fiction || Invaded By The iWatch – There’s an erotic novel about the Apple Watch – Invaded By The iWatch

Someone has written an erotic novel about the Apple Watch.

Well, it was only a matter of time (terrible pun intended).

The short story – available from Amazon for 99p – follows the life of young Christie whose sexual horizons are broadened by Apple’s latest gadget.
The erotic novel description

Christie Aackerlund loves technology, so she is happy to try out a smartwatch prototype that mysteriously arrives at her door. When she asks the watch how it can make her less lonely, she has no idea how many sensual features are packed into the tiny device.

Discover how a forbidden sexual romance between a woman and a watch is possible. Cry out in joy at guest appearances from your favourite technology personalities. Squirm at a twist ending to the Digital Desires trilogy that will leave you uncomfortably aroused.

This 4000 word short story contains sexual encounters with technology, blow-jobs, and group sex. It’s only for super mature people who can handle it.

Note: The real Apple Watch will not make you this horny.

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Leprechaun Porn 9325% Rise In St Paddy’s Day XXX Porn

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Leprichuan Porn 9325% Rise In St Paddy’s Day XXX Porn – There was a massive spike of people searching for ‘leprechaun porn’ on St Patrick’s Day

St Patrick’s Day is seen the world over as a day to celebrate Irish culture, wear green and get hammered on Guinness.

However for some people this temporary love of all things Irish spread from their head to their… loins.

Pornhub have released figures of what sort of adult films people were searching for during St Patrick’s Day, which reveal searches for the word ‘leprechaun’ went up ‘9325 per cent compared to an average day’.

We don’t want to know how many searches their are for leprechaun porn on an ‘average day’, and frankly, we don’t wish to know.

Several other words and phrases saw a huge increase in searches on the day of Ireland’s patron saint.

‘Irish cougar’ and ‘Irish redhead’ both experienced search increases, as did ‘green hair’ bizarrely.

Horny porn lovers were even searching for videos with the words ‘St Patrick’ in the title – is that any way to honour a Saint?

Waking up with a blinding hangover and still covered with green body paint will put most people off Guinness for a good while today, and the same is apparently true of Irish themed pornography.

Pornhub say searches based on St Patrick’s day and Irish mythology dropped off soon after the day was over.

We dread to think what people are going to be searching for during the General Election.

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Liberal Democrats Porn Hub Blunder

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The Lib Dems just released a poster that looks like a porn advert

Someone at the liberal Democrats HQ might just be getting a stern talking to for this one.

The deputy prime minister’s team released this publicity poster this week campaigning for the Chilcot report to be released to the public as soon as possible.

Unfortunately the person who created the artwork must have had other things on his or her mind.

That’s because the yellow square around the word ‘publish’ looks suspiciously similar to the branding for the porn website PornHub.

Just look at a few of PornHub’s recent adverts for comparison.

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Stoned Man Arrested For Blowing A Horse

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Masked Man Wearing Assless Pants Arrested for Alleged Horse Fucking – Stoned Man Arrested For Blowing A Horse

A Wisconsin man was arrested in Wausau last week for alleged horse fucking after sheriff’s deputies found him in a barn with a jar of vaseline. Jared Kreft, 30, was reportedly wearing “a face mask, black jacket and blue wind pants with holes cut in the groin and buttocks areas,” and later admitted to performing oral sex on the horse.

From the Daily Herald:

He told deputies after he was arrested that he went to the barn and performed oral sex on the horse and tried to arouse the horse with his hand, according to court documents. He said he had viewed “horse pornography” before the incident.

Deputies also found a blue and red glass pipe often used for smoking marijuana and a jar of petroleum jelly.

When they searched his apartment in the city of Wausau, a detective found a small amount of marijuana, according to court documents.

Kreft was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, sexual gratification with an animal sex organ, possession of marijuana as a repeat offender, and bail jumping. He’s being held on $2,000 bond and has been ordered to stay away from the barn where his alleged crimes took place.

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ASBO Sexpest Too Loud || Are You Too Loud During Sex?

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Woman given Asbo for LOUD SEX sessions says she will never be silenced – ASBO Sexpest Too Loud || Are You Too Loud During Sex?

Despite police being called 30 times, noisy neighbour Caroline Cartwright refuses to stop making a racket because “that’s what you should be doing”

A woman given an Asbo for loud SEX sessions says she will continue to make noise – as “that’s what you should be doing”.

Caroline Cartwright’s bonking sessions with husband Steve were so noisy police were called to their home to tell them to be quiet more than 30 times.

The 53-year-old from Sunderland was given an Asbo banning her from shouting, screaming or vocalising during sex.

It was put in place after she breached a noise abatement order five times and was later given a suspended jail term after going against the Asbo.

Despite facing court over the loud romping, she says she will continue having noisy sex.

Caroline, who has been married to Steve for more than 30 years, said she has no regrets after she was given a four-year anti-social behaviour order.

She said: “As far as I’m concerned, that’s what you should be doing. Just relax. Go with the flow.

“It’s not as if I’m having sex and think ‘Oh, I’m making too much noise. I better be quiet’.”

Problems began when she and Steve moved into a quiet terrace and bought a bed with an iron headboard, which banged against the wall before it broke.

She said: “I would have been judgemental about people who went to prison before I got locked up.

“But then you go in there and you hear the stories of why they’re there, it makes you realise that it could be anyone who ends up there.”

In a bid to get around restrictions, unemployed Cartwright switched the sex sessions to the morning.

However, residents, who complained she drowned out the sound of their televisions, were unimpressed.

She added: “I don’t see why I should stop having sex in my own house with my husband of 38 years.

“I’m sure there could be a lot worse things I could be doing. They all thought it was stupid I was in prison.

“I mean, I was in the same prison as people like Rose West for making a noise when I have sex.

“There could be a real crime going on while they’re busy arresting me.”

She made her comments in Asbo and Proud, shown on Channel 5 on Wednesday.

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Hardcore Dominatrix wants planning permission for XXX BDSM Fetish Bondage Sex Dungeon

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‘Sensual sadist’ dominatrix applying for planning permission for her fetish club promises to close on Sundays – Dominatrix Applies For XXX BDSM Fetish Bondage Sex Dungeon Permission

First video –

A dominatrix describing herself as a ‘sensual sadist’ is being forced to tackle the very unsexy task of getting planning permission for her fetish club – which she promises she’ll close on Sundays and Bank Holidays.

Lorraine White – AKA ‘Princess Lucina’ – who beats, restrains and humiliates men for their pleasure, was discovered to be running the fetish club without the right permission when the fire service was called to an industrial estate in 2012 and was unable to get inside the premises.

And Ms White, who describes herself as a ‘sensual sadist offering every BDSM fantasy from the mild to the wild’, is now submitting an application to Stockport Council asking for a change of use for her unit on the industrial estate from ‘Warehouse’ to ‘Place of photography and mild fetish play’.

‘I don’t care as long as everyone is consenting,’ Jason Morris, 44, who lives near the building, told the Manchester Evening News.

‘I wouldn’t have known it was there but for press coverage. As long as it stays that way I’m not bothered.’

Jacqui Wood, who is based in the same building, said: ‘If it’s legal and the landlord is OKAY with it then that’s their business.’

If the application is approved, Ms White will be allowed to keep her club open from Tuesday to Saturday, from 11pm to 7am, but she has promised to close the premises on Sundays and Bank Holidays.

She was fined £5,000 with £3,000 costs for breaching fire regulations earlier this year.

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Lesbian Porn Star Epiphany to Reborn Again Christian Mother | Porn Again Christian

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Porn Again Christian: Evangelical wife was a lesbian porn star who slept with 100 women – Lesbian Porn Star Epiphany to Reborn Again Christian Mother | Porn Again Christian

Teresa Carey says she turned her back on the X-rated industry after having an religious epiphany while listening to The Beatles

A born-again Christian has revealed how she was once a lesbian porn star who slept with more than 100 women. But just five years ago the evangelical Christian, from Gedling in Nottinghamshire, was making her living in X-rated movies.

Between 1998 and 2009, the 36-year-old slept with more than 100 women on camera and appeared naked in adult magazines including Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler.

Teresa’s entry into the world of glamour modelling began innocently enough with a few head shots for local photographers. But it wasn’t long before offers of work started rolling in and she was signed by a top London agency.

She said: “It started really just taking your top off. That was really nerve-racking at first, but obviously it progressed until that was normal, then it was ‘would you do nude?’

“And going from topless to nude wasn’t such a big step as going from clothed to topless, so it moved from that, to standing next to a girl, to hugging a girl, to kissing a girl, then all of a sudden it’s no longer stills, it’s video.

“I just found myself doing it. It wasn’t something where I thought ‘Oh, I want to be a pornstar’, I don’t think that’s the dream of any little girl.

“At the heart of every woman is a need to be adored, desired, that’s why we like to look pretty, we like to be looked at, we like to be told we’re beautiful.

“That kind of lifestyle, you get that fix, that’s kind of the allure, but while that’s going on, there’s deeper things creeping up on you.”

Her porn work required her to star in explicit girl-on-girl shoots – despite having no sexual feelings for women.

“I wasn’t really attracted to women,” she said. “The whole sexual thing was not on my radar at all, it was just the way I looked worked well for it.”

“I was completely cynical in that way. When you do it everyday, it’s as normal as going into the cupboard and seeing if there’s any crisps available, it’s that normal.

“You’re doing it day in, day out. It’s never real anyway, as much as girls like to pretend it is because it’s good for business. It was all fake.”

Teresa met husband Scott when she was 17 – and the car salesman claims that six days before their meeting, he had a sixth sense that he would meet the woman he would marry that day.

Teresa was actually seeing someone else at the time – but the couple immediately clicked and Scott was happy to settle down.

But Teresa’s life changed forever after her and Scott experienced a religious epiphany – in which they say they came face-to-face with Jesus while listening to The Beatles’ track ‘Across The Universe’.

The couple had been studying everything from Egyptology and UFOs to Buddhism and the Quran in search of life’s big truths.

Teresa said: “We had been reading the Gospel of John, the fourth gospel, and it was a day like any other.

“I’d finished work, he’d finished uploading some of my pictures to the internet, we were chilling out listening to music, and we had an out of body experience together.”

“We came face-to-face with Jesus, and from that moment on our lives have been changed.”

She added: “I didn’t get any sense of condemnation from [Jesus], that all came from myself and from other people.

“I now realise that being a porn star was not what God wanted me to be doing, but he didn’t condemn me for it.

“It’s was more ‘When you’re ready, you can come with me.’

“It was really a testament to my faith that I thought ‘I’m going to have to cut this out and I have faith that God is going to lead me into something better’.”

Teresa now regards porn, homosexuality, and pre-marital sex as “symptoms of the spiritual state the world is in”.

And despite her on-screen success, she says she was always wary of the trappings surrounding the porn industry.

Teresa deleted all her porn industry contacts in 2009 in order to devote herself exclusively to the Lord – including her money-spinning website.

She added: “People say ‘her career was gone, it’s very convenient how she’s had this epiphany’ – but that’s not true.

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41 Pictures You Need To See Before You Die Of Monday-itus!! #TGIF

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Woman Leaves Sex Toy In Vagina For 10 Years

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Woman Leaves Sex Toy In Vagina For 10 Years

After complaining of various health problems, a Scottish woman was found to have a sex toy inside her vagina – and that it had been left there for 10 years.

According to a report by STV News, the 38-year-old visited Aberdeen Royal Infirmary after contracting sepsis and experiencing severe weight loss and urinary incontinence.  At the hospital, doctors conducted an X-ray of her abdomen, which showed the five-inch toy protruding into her bladder from her vagina.

According to the Daily Mail, the woman admitted to using the sex toy with her partner 10 years ago; she also noted that she had been under the influence of alcohol at the time and could not recall removing the toy.

After this revelation, the woman was diagnosed with vesicovaginal fistula – a condition that causes urine to flow into the vagina – as well as obstructive uropathy – in which a blockage in the bladder causes urine to back up into the kidneys.  Surgeons at Aberdeen successfully removed the sex toy and repaired the near life-threatening damage.

Detailed in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the case may be the first time a sex toy has been left inside a woman’s body for such a long time. The longest known retention of a foreign object was 35 years.

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90s Porn Vs Internet Porn | Hentai Disney Bondage

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90s Porn Vs Internet Porn | Hentai Disney Bondage

As a grow older I start to wonder and think about the world my nephew is growing up in. As he grows older he will learn to walk, learn to talk, makes friends, join social networks, eventually look for and no doubt find porn. It is likely to be from places like PornHub, YouPorn or maybe even that fabled Blue Waffle.

Now this is were I wonder that maybe internet, youtube porn, free porn, iphone porn that is freely available maybe so hardcore that we wont recognise it and maybe even scare us as adults… worse than OAP porn or granny cross dressing porn….

So in this video I share my thoughts with you.

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