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4 Vlogs a week (MON, TUES, WED & FRI) FUNNY VLOGS, FUNNY NEWS, FULL MOVIE REVIEWs, FRIENDLY ADVICE & generally try to make you SMILE!
Honey Bee: Exploding Testicles.
A virgin queen that survives to adulthood without being killed by her rivals will take a mating flight with a dozen or so male drones (out of tens of thousands eligible bachelors in the colony). But don’t call these drones lucky because during mating, their genitals explode and snap off inside the queen!
Bonobos use sex as greetings, a mean of solving disputes, making up for fights, and as a favors in exchange for food. They tongue kiss, engage in oral sex, mutual masturbations, have face-to-face genital sex and even have a strange “penis fencing” ritual!
Red-Sided Garter Snake: An Annual Mating Ball Orgy
he annual mating of red-sided garter snakes is a tourist attraction in Manitoba, Canada. That’s because when a female garter snake emerges from hibernation, she releases a pheromone that attracts hundreds of male snakes in the vicinity to rush her and create a large squirming “mating ball.”
Hyena: The Females Got Balls!
Female hyenas wear the pants in the family. They’re bigger and stronger than the males. And definitely much more aggressive. Heck, they even got balls. Really.
A female hyena has a pseudopenis, basically an enlarged clitoris, that they can erect at will. To mate, the meeker male has to insert his penis into her pseudopenis. That’s difficult for the males, but still nothing compared to the female having to give birth through a penis!
Giraffe Love Sex with… everything!
With that ridiculously long neck of theirs, mating is hard work for male giraffes. So, when a male happens upon a female giraffe, he will perform a procedure known as the “fleshmen sequence” to see if she is in estrus. First, he nudges her rump to induce urination. He then takes a mouthful of urine. If it tastes good to him, then he begins to court her.
Actually, “court” may be too strong a word: the male giraffe basically follows her around until she gives in and lets him have her!
Dolphin Penis: That’s Not His Hand.
Here’s something you probably don’t know about Flipper: he has retractable penis. Male dolphins also have a very strong sex drive. It can mate many, many times in a day. Now here’s the bad news: male dolphins aren’t that much of a stud. The average time to ejaculation? 12 seconds.
Percula Clownfish: Your Mommy Was Your Daddy.
Clownfish live in a group consisting of a breeding pair of male and female, as well as some non-breeding males. There is strict hierarchy based on size: the largest is the female, next largest is the male, and then the non-breeding males.
Giant Panda: X-Rated Panda Porn!
For a while, zookeepers had trouble getting pandas raised in captivity to breed. In fact, male and female pandas showed little interest in sex – that is until someone at the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding and Research Base in Sichuan Province, China, had the bright idea of showing them panda porn!
Now, when pandas reach adulthood, zookeepers there show them steamy videos of panda sex as part of their initiation rites.
Galapagos Giant Tortoise: The Longest Neck Wins.
To determine who gets to mate, male Galapagos giant tortoises will rise on their legs and stretch their necks. The shorter tortoise will cry uncle and leave the taller, larger tortoise to mate.
Garden Snail: Love Darts
Snails’ genitals are on their necks, right behind their eye-stalks. Not weird enough? Read on.
Snails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both male and female sexual organs, but they do not self-fertilize.
Bedbug: Traumatic Insemination
Here’s chivalry for you: the male bedbugs don’t even bother with the female’s sex organs. Instead, a male bedbug uses its scimitar-like sexual organ to impale the female bedbug’s body and deposit his sperm!
Scientists even have a cute name for this sort of thing: “traumatic insemination.” Ouch!
Porcupine: Wee Marks the Spot.
First of all, female porcupines are interested in sex only about 8 to 12 hours in a year! Second, to court a female during the short mating season, a male porcupine stands up on his hind legs, waddles up to her, and then sprays her with a huge stream of urine from as far as 6 feet away, and drench his would-be paramour from head to foot!
If she is ready, then she’ll rear up to expose her quill-less underbelly and let the male mount her from the behind (that’s the only safe position for porcupines!). Once mating begins, the female is insatiable: she forces the male to mate many times until he is thoroughly exhausted. If he gets tired too quickly, she will leave him for another male!
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