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14 Reasons Not To Follow Instructions | Stupid Instructions Be Stupid
As we go through life we are always told to read the instructions and follow the rules, but what if they are stupid rules? Now I know manufacturers of consumer products have to be liberal with the warning labels these days, lest they get sued. But for these, it’s hard to know whether the company is being outright stupid or if they’re simply targeting the most brain dead dumb among us.
In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan –
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists –
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo –
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink –
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray –
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer –
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids –
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles –
OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins –
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer –
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos –
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)
12. On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) –
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)
13. On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding –
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let’s experiment)
14. On a Korean kitchen knife –
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
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