Tag: London

16 Ways To REALLY Annoy A Londoner | London Survival Guide

16 Ways To REALLY Annoy A Londoner – The How-to guide to surival in london. How NOT to piss off a Londoner.

1. Trying to sneakily dump your rubbish because you’re too lazy to take it with you.

“No, no, no, you didn’t look suspicious at all stuffing that crisp packet behind you and legging it off the train before anyone could pull you up on it. Reeeeeeal mature, buddy.”

2. Playing suuuuuuper-loud music.
Playing suuuuuuper-loud music.

“You know what I really love? Hearing the dull tat-TAT-tat-TAT of repetitive hi-hats belonging to some dumb dance song through the medium of your headphones. Yep. Love it. Better than a festival. Definitely doesn’t make me want to cry.”

3. Wearing a huge rucksack at rush hour.

“Look, I’ll level with you: I get it. You really want to bring your gym kit to work. I understand. I feel you. But the extra space summoned by your rucksack is forcing me so tight into the corner of this carriage that I’m going to have to assume gaseous form to continue. Cool? Cool.”

4. Having a large suitcase – anywhere.

“Ma’am that is FAR too big for you.”

5. Barging onto a train without letting people off first.

“Oh, somewhere to be, have we? Yeah, you and everyone else trying to get around this evening…”

6. Shuffling.

“Surely you can see, just as well as I can see, that there is an oversaturation of people on this street. It is full to the gills. And you, sirs, are walking at the pace of a retired tortoise. LET’S SPEED IT UP.”

7. Abruptly stopping still.

“I’m not saying stopping in the middle of a busy street for a group selfie should be grounds for banning, but let’s at least have a conversation about it.”

8. Asking them to travel outside of Zone 2.

“The following are unacceptable: Wimbledon, Tooting, Richmond, Walthamstow, Highgate, and all those strange places the Metropolitan line visits somewhere near Reading.”

9. Not adhering to proper escalator etiquette.

“Where do you think this is, America? Because, when you think about it, we go slow on the right and overtake on the left…which is actually a whole lot like America.”

10. Failing to move down the carriage.

“MOVE. DOWN. THE TRAIN. PLEASE.”

11. Being flummoxed by a ticket machine.

“What’s that? It’s your first time in the capital? UNACCEPTABLE!”
(“This situation most definitely has nothing to do with the fact I decided to rock up at the station two minutes before my train leaves…”)

12. Showing a complete disregard for Britain’s rich cultural history of queuing.

“I’m not going to say anything, I’m just going to glare, tut, and work myself up into a silent rage, of which I’ll later take out on my co-workers and loved ones.”

13. Talking to them about the weather.

“OH, RAINY IS IT? HADN’T NOTICED.”

14. Talking to them about house prices.

“OH, EXPENSIVE IS IT? HADN’T NOTICED.”

15. Trying to talk to them, full stop.

“Oh god, I just made eye contact with another human.”

16. Suggesting that maybe they should think about living elsewhere?

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Female Jogger NAKED in London

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A bus passenger was bemused to see a woman jogging down his local high street… naked.

Elijah Bailey was on the top deck of an E3 bus in Ealing, west London, earlier this week when he spotted the nude runner casually making her way along Uxbridge Road.

As the grainy video shows her passing convenience shops, takeaway joints and a cash point it’s perhaps surprising she didn’t cause more of a commotion.

After uploading the video to Facebook, the footage has provoked amusement and confusion.

‘She had no remorse on her face. I’m still in shock,’ explained Mr Bailey, a few hours after the incident.

‘Police stopped her outside Deans Park and she was so calm with it, like they wanted the time or some of her Lucozade,’ he added.

No arrest has been reported however, and the naked woman’s behaviour remains a mystery.

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Zombie Christmas | Ladbrokes offers 2,000/1 odds for zombie apocalypse on Christmas Day

While many will be expecting a few presents, some turkey and all the other trimmings that come with Christmas Day, it seems like the nation should also be ready for a zombie apocalypse.

Ladbrokes has announced surprising odds of 2,000/1 for a zombie apocalypse to happen on December 25 this year.

A rise of the undead is more likely than Crystal Palace winning the Barclays Premier League this season, which has odds of 5,000/1.

Prince Harry marrying Miley Cyrus however is slightly more foreseeable with odds of 500/1 and a white Christmas in London with 5/1.

Despite this, zombie expert and author of the Haynes Zombie Survival Manual Sean Page is urging people to prepare for the worst.

‘The public are always interested in the odds of a white Christmas, but they should be more concerned by the increasing likelihood of a zombie apocalypse,’ he said.

‘The most likely time for an outbreak is during the busy festive season as people spend more time in large groups, making it easier for the zombie virus to spread, triggering the apocalypse.’

While Ladbrokes has forecast the odds of a zombie apocalypse, the bookmaker say the public should not be concerned.

Ladbrokes spokesman Alex Donohue said: ‘We are confident that the odds of a zombie apocalypse at 2,000/1 are correct, and although the public should exert caution over the Christmas period, they should not be unduly concerned about the chances of the undead rising up to attack and eat the living.’

The Snowman Full Movie Review | Christmas Movie Before The Snowman and the Snowdog

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The Snowman is the tale of a boy who builds a snowman one winter’s day. That night, at the stroke of twelve, the snowman comes to life. The first part of the story deals with the snowman’s attempts to understand the appliances, toys and other bric-a-brac in the boy’s house, all while keeping quiet enough not to wake the boy’s parents. The two then venture back outside and go for a ride on a motorbike, disturbing many animals: pheasants, rabbits, a barn owl, a fox and a brown horse.

In the second part of the story, the boy and the snowman take flight — the song “Walking in the Air” appears at this point. They fly over the boy’s town, over houses and large public buildings before flying past the Royal Pavilion in Brighton and West Pier and then out into the ocean. They continue through an Arctic landscape and fly past many sights and animals such as penguins. Flying into the aurora they reach their destination.

The two wander hand-in-hand into a snow-covered forest and attend a snowmen’s party, at which the boy is the only human. They meet Father Christmas and his reindeer, and the boy is given a scarf with a snowman pattern.

The morning after the return journey the sun has come out and the boy wakes up to find the snowman has melted. The boy reaches into his pocket and finds the snowman scarf given to him by Father Christmas. As the credits play, the boy mourns the loss of his new friend.

2012 sequel: The Snowman and the Snowdog Full Movie

A new 23-minute film titled The Snowman and The Snowdog Full Movie aired on Channel 4 on Christmas Eve 2012 at 8pm GMT to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the original short and of Channel 4. Produced at the London based animation company Lupus Films, with many of the original team returning, the sequel was made in the same traditional techniques as the first film, and features the Snowman, a new little boy and a snow dog, flying over landmarks and going to another party. The idea of a sequel had been resisted by Raymond Briggs for several years, but he gave his permission for the 2012 film. The sequel was dedicated to the memory of producer John Coates, who died in September 2012, during its production.

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22 Animals Who’ve Been Hiding Out In The London Underground Map

Isnt it strange how we can find faces in everything. Everything from Jesus in toast to pentagrams in the streets on Washington and now… Animals in the underground maps 🙂

Rolf Harris charged with indecent assault on girls

TV presenter Rolf Harris has been charged with nine counts of indecent assault and four of making indecent images of children, police have said.

Mr Harris was first arrested in March by officers investigating historical allegations of child sexual abuse.

Six offences relate to the indecent assault of a girl aged 15-16 between 1980 and 1981 and three relate to a girl aged 14 in 1986.

The indecent images of children were alleged to have been made last year.

Mr Harris, 83, of Bray, Berkshire, will appear at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on 23 September. Mr Harris’ lawyers have not publicly responded to the charges.

Operation Yewtree

Alison Saunders, chief Crown prosecutor for London, said: “Having completed our review, we have concluded that there is sufficient evidence and it is in the public interest for Mr Harris to be charged with nine counts of indecent assault and four of making indecent images of a child.

“The alleged indecent assaults date from 1980 to 1986 and relate to two complainants aged 14 and 15 at the time of the alleged offending.”

Mr Harris was arrested as part of Operation Yewtree, which was set up in the wake of allegations against the former BBC Radio 1 DJ and TV presenter Jimmy Savile.

Operation Yewtree has three strands – one is looking specifically at the actions of Savile, while the second strand concerns allegations against “Savile and others”.

Mr Harris was arrested as part of the third strand, which relates to alleged complaints against other people unconnected to the Savile investigation – who the police term “others”.

Mr Harris has been a fixture on British TV screens for more than 40 years, having arrived in the UK from his native Australia in 1952.

He has been honoured in the UK three times, first as a Member of the British Empire in 1968 (MBE), then an OBE in 1977 and in 2006 he was advanced to a CBE.

In June 2012 he was awarded one of Australia’s highest honours when he was made an Officer of the Order of Australia in the Queen’s birthday list.

BREAKING NEWS : Royal Baby Baby Baby Boy Photos – Royal Baby Pictures (Warning May Contain Bieber)

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THUMBS UP for the baby / THUMBS DOWN i dont care!!

Yesterday at 20:32 Kate Middleton (Catherine) and Prince William finally had a baby boy. This cute baby boy will be 3rd in line to the thrown and will be King one day.

We have a view pictures of the royal baby exclusively in the video today. But do you care?

I apologise for the Justin Bieber

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I am “MetalEddy” from Philip Defranco (sxephil) Movie Club 🙂

Royal baby: Kate gives birth to boy #RoyalBaby #BabyBoy

The Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a baby boy, Kensington Palace has announced.

The baby was delivered at 16:24 BST at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington, west London, weighing 8lb 6oz.

The palace said in a statement that the duchess and the baby were “doing well” and would stay in hospital overnight.

The news has been displayed on an ornate easel in the forecourt of Buckingham Palace in line with tradition.

A bulletin – signed by the Queen’s gynaecologist Marcus Setchell, who led the medical team that delivered the baby – was taken by a royal aide from St Mary’s to the palace under police escort.

The press release said the Duke of Cambridge was present for the birth.

william-kate

“The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Harry and members of both families have been informed and are delighted with the news,” it said.

Prime Minister David Cameron said on Twitter: “I’m delighted for the Duke and Duchess now their son has been born. The whole country will celebrate. They’ll make wonderful parents.”

And Labour leader Ed Miliband, also writing on Twitter, said: “Many congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. I wish them and their son all happiness and good health.”

Duchess gives birth to baby boy!! Do you care?? #RoyalBaby #PrinceWilliam #KateMiddleton

### 20:32 Duchess gives birth to baby boy – “The Duke of Cambridge was present for the birth.”

Today is the day that many a royalist has dreamed about. Today marks the (possible) birth of Price William and Kate Middleton’s (Duke and Duchess of Cambridge) royal baby.

The baby will take the thrown after William and Kate no matter the sex of the child. This is new and has been set in law. Previously MALE heirs superseded their FEMALE siblings but due to changes in parliament in future the first born will always become heir assuming they are able to do so upon the death of the monarch…

But the bottom line is…. Do you care? Is the Monarchy an out dated idea or do you think the new Royals (William, Harry, Kate etc) have made it more relevant in the past few years?

What would you want the baby to be called?

The top tipped names are Alexandra (6-4), Victoria (9-1), Charlotte (6-1), Elizabeth (10-1), Grace (25-1), James (6-1) and George (11-2).

Mel Smith dies of a heart attack aged 60 #RIP #ComedyLegend

Comic actor and writer Mel Smith has died of a heart attack, aged 60, his agent has confirmed.

The British comedian – known for the sketch shows Alas Smith and Jones and Not The Nine O’clock News – died at his home on Friday, Michael Foster said.

Smith formed a lasting partnership with co-performer Griff Rhys Jones with whom he set up the independent television company, Talkback Productions.

His producer John Lloyd described him as a great actor and wonderful editor.

In a statement on behalf of his wife, Pam, Mr Foster said: “Mel Smith, comedian and writer, died on Friday aged 60, from a heart attack at his home in north west London.”

A London Ambulance spokeswoman said: “We were called just after 09:07 BST on Friday 19 July to an address in NW8 and sent two responders in cars, but sadly the patient was dead at the scene.”

“Start Quote

Life was always exciting around Mel”

Peter Fincham ITV director of television

‘Contribution will never go away’

Meanwhile, friends and colleagues have paid tribute to Smith.

Comedian and broadcaster Stephen Fry wrote on Twitter: “Terrible news about my old friend Mel Smith, dead today from a heart attack. Mel lived a full life, but was kind, funny and wonderful to know.”

Author Kathy Lette said: “RIP Mel Smith. Sorry to bring sad and bad news, but apparently he died from heart attack in his sleep.”

Writer Irvine Welsh tweeted: “Sad to hear about the death of Mel Smith, who gave me loads of laughs.”

Mel Smith and Smith Griff Rhys Jones
Smith formed a lasting partnership with Griff Rhys Jones

Not the Nine O’clock News producer, Mr Lloyd, told the BBC his friend had been ill for some time.

“Mel did an extraordinary thing – he taught us all how to make comedy natural. He was a brilliant theatre director… Not only was he a great actor, he was a wonderful editor.”

The production company founded by Smith and Griff Rhys Jones went on to make a number of iconic comedies, among them Da Ali G Show, I’m Alan Partrdige and Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

“What that did is produce a gigantic raft of new material,” Mr Lloyd said. “That, I think, is a contribution that will never go away.”

The pair sold the company for £62m in 2000.

Their business partner and agent at Talkback, ITV director of television Peter Fincham, said Smith had “extraordinary natural talent”.

“Life was always exciting around Mel,” he said. “Being funny came naturally to him, so much so that he never seemed to give it a second thought. Mel and Griff were one of the great comedy acts and it’s hard to imagine that one of them is no longer with us.”

What are your memories of Mel Smith? Did you meet him or work with him?

Andy Murray Wins Wimbledon, Laura Robson in Bikini? England Wins World Cup, MetalEddy (Hairy Vlog)

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Welcome to my new hairy vlog. Its Wimbledon this week and whether sexy gangnam style favouring Laura Robson or Andy Murray Wins or Loses Wimbledon we as Brits will hope and pray for success, and ofc hope for a bikini photo shoot… NOT YOU ANDY!

Do you think we put too much pressure on our sport personalities? With Andy Murray and Laura Robson our only hopes for Wimbledon do you think we will win?

Will you be watching the Wimbledon Live Highlights?

I am “MetalEddy” from Philip Defranco Movie Club 🙂

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