Tag: fuck

Horny Couple Caught Having Sex In Phone Booth

Couple caught having sex in a phone box on their way to buy fish

This randy couple were caught having sex in a phone box on their way to buy fish. Naturally.

The lovers came forward to discuss their bizarre phone box bonking session.

Lovebirds Gavin Wain, 30, and 41-year-old Lisa Kerley – and they were on their way to buy fish from a garden centre when the horn got the better of them.

A passerby who witnessed the encounter said: ‘You expect this kind of behaviour from dogs but not people. There are loads of old people living near that phone box and use it to call friends and family.’

They continued: ‘Who on earth will want to use it now? My main concern now is the phone box becoming some kind of magnet for other couples wanting to do the same.

Adding: ‘If I had my way the phone box would be bulldozed and replaced with one which can only accommodate one person.’

Images show the mum-of-four with her leggings round her ankles with half-naked Wain behind her. And far from being shy about it, they’ve actually spoken about their antics in Tamworth, Staffordshire.

Gavin said: ‘We both have fish tanks with me keeping piranhas and Lisa a couple of turtles and we were on our way to look at the fish section.

‘We called at a supermarket and bought a few bottles. It was a hot day and the booze must have got the better of us. We were passing the phone box and laughing and joking and I said to Lisa “Fancy a quickie?” and obviously she did.’

Obviously.

Unsurprisingly, the phone box bonking session was spotted. Onlookers in Wilnecote, Staffordshire, were gobsmacked at the sight and drove back to record the couple.


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Worlds Greatest Rocket Science Sex Toy

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Rocket scientists have been working on a revolutionary new sex toy that promises to send us into space (sorry).

MysteryVibe, the UK’s first crowdfunded sex toy purveyors, claim that the vibrator – named Crescendo – is the ‘Rolls Royce of the sex toy world’ and is going to revolutionize how women are able to control their orgasm, due to its truly adaptable design.

The 21st century sex toy allows users to change its shape and vibrations according to their desires and mood, based on the idea that ‘one size doesn’t fit all’.

The makers say: ‘Crescendo is beautifully seamless and can be bent into countless ‘exciting shapes’ – ‘I’, ‘C’, ‘S’ or anything in-between.’

And of course, it can be controlled by a smartphone App – what can’t these days?

You can even select music to play through the App that vibrates to the beat, using six vibration motors.

The high-capacity battery can be charged wirelessley and has been designed to run at full intensity for 2 hours and last for at least 4,000 hours. Should be enough time.
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VEDA DAY 20 – The One With The Fuck You Photo

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Leprechaun Porn 9325% Rise In St Paddy’s Day XXX Porn

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Leprichuan Porn 9325% Rise In St Paddy’s Day XXX Porn – There was a massive spike of people searching for ‘leprechaun porn’ on St Patrick’s Day

St Patrick’s Day is seen the world over as a day to celebrate Irish culture, wear green and get hammered on Guinness.

However for some people this temporary love of all things Irish spread from their head to their… loins.

Pornhub have released figures of what sort of adult films people were searching for during St Patrick’s Day, which reveal searches for the word ‘leprechaun’ went up ‘9325 per cent compared to an average day’.

We don’t want to know how many searches their are for leprechaun porn on an ‘average day’, and frankly, we don’t wish to know.

Several other words and phrases saw a huge increase in searches on the day of Ireland’s patron saint.

‘Irish cougar’ and ‘Irish redhead’ both experienced search increases, as did ‘green hair’ bizarrely.

Horny porn lovers were even searching for videos with the words ‘St Patrick’ in the title – is that any way to honour a Saint?

Waking up with a blinding hangover and still covered with green body paint will put most people off Guinness for a good while today, and the same is apparently true of Irish themed pornography.

Pornhub say searches based on St Patrick’s day and Irish mythology dropped off soon after the day was over.

We dread to think what people are going to be searching for during the General Election.

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Wonderfully Weird Things We All Do

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I’ve been thinking a lot recently…. yeah I know that can be dangerous. However, do you ever find yourself doing something and not sure why you do it? Ever wonder if you are alone in this madness?

FEAR NOT, we all do weird things and I am positive we share a few.

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Vagina Selfie Stick Camera || Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator

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“Sex Selfie Stick” Lets You Take Vagina Selfies, Just Like You’ve Always Wanted

When it comes to sexting, people with penises have it all too easy — as anyone who’s ever tried to hold a mirror up to their vagina in order to insert a tampon (or check for STIs, or whatever) can tell you, it’s incredibly difficult to maneuver visual devices down there, so I’d imagine getting a good picture of your undercarriage would be near impossible. But not anymore: the invention of the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator allows you to Facetime from inside your vagina, for when topless pics simply won’t cut it. Now you can get all up in your own business without having to contort your body into weird positions, or squat over the toilet with a hand mirror, because neither of those things are particularly fun or sexy.

The device basically looks like any other vibrator you might have, with the only differences being it has a camera attached to the end with lights surrounding it so you can take high-quality (and extremely intimate) photo fodder for sexts. You can take either pictures or videos, which can then be uploaded to your computer or smartphone. The vibrator also syncs with Facetime in case you want more face-to-face — er, vag — sexy times.

I’m going to go ahead and say that syncing pics of your privates to your phone or laptop sounds like a sex scandal waiting to happen, but hey, maybe I’m just paranoid. Although, admittedly, now I’m kind of curious to know how my vagina looks from the inside, so pros and cons, maybe?

And, I mean this could be a handy way for people to learn about their bodies in a safe and private way. As online vendor Lovehoney puts it:

Orgasms are an amazing display of passion and satisfaction, from muscle spasms and curling toes to clenched hands and heavy breathing, but have you ever wondered what happens inside the body during climax? The Svakom Gaga provides all the answers…

Yep, they got me, I officially want to know.

If the Svakom Gaga Camera Vibrator sounds like your next bedroom must-have, you can buy it online at Lovehoney for the low (?) price of £119.99 (approximately $184). It’s actually out of stock on their site until March 16, so it just goes to show you that there really is a market for vibrator/camera hybrids. Until then, I guess you’ll just have to settle for a flashlight and a self-timer? A regular selfie stick? Long and flexible arms? Whatever works for you, I guess.

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Weasel Rides Woodpecker? || Animals Ride Animals

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Weasel rides woodpecker in dramatic mid-air scrap – Weasel Rides Woodpecker? || Animals Ride Animals

But the picture, taken yesterday by Martin Le-May in east London, is not as friendly as it first seems

This stunning picture shows the moment a hungry weasel appears to take flight on the back of a woodpecker.

The remarkable encounter was captured yesterday by photographer Martin Le-May at Hornchurch Country Park in east London.

He spotted the baby mammal eyeing up its next meal before pouncing on the colourful bird.

Martin captured the dramatic incident on camera while out walking with his wife Ann on Monday afternoon.

The weasel pounced on the much larger woodpecker to try and eat it while it was on the ground in Hornchurch Country Park in Essex.

It then fiercely clung onto its terrified intended meal as the bird took off and flew around before finally shaking it off.

Martin, 52, said he “feared the worst” for the green bird after hearing “distressed squawking” during the struggle.

“We had gone out because my wife had never seen a green woodpecker before and wanted to see one,” he said.

“After about 20 minutes we hear this really loud screeching like a distressed squawking.

“I flicked my head around and I saw this flash of green as a woodpecker flew in front of us about 30m to 35m away.

“It seemed to be hopping around strangely as if it was stepping on a hot surface.

“Then it flew across and towards us. I realised it had something small and furry on its back and that there was a desperate struggle for life going on.

“At that stage I didn’t know what it was. It didn’t have a long tail like a rat or a bushy tail like a squirrel

“The woodpecker flew for around 15m and got about 6ft off the ground before landing directly in front of us about 25m away.

“We feared the worst and started walking towards it, expecting to find the woodpecker had been killed.

“But I think our presence, momentarily distracted the weasel so that it released its prey.

“The woodpecker then seized the opportunity and flew up and away into some bushes to our left. You could see that it was shaken, but it was still in one piece.

“We went over and there was no sign of the little mammal that had been on its back.

“It is the most amazing set of pictures I have ever taken. To get a weasel on the back of a woodpecker is incredible.

“It is an unbelievably unusual to witness something like this and I guess it is just a chance in a million.

“It is certainly not something you expect to see on a walk around Hornchurch.

“You can see the look of terror on the bird’s face because it does not want to end up as a weasel’s next meal.”

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Village Plagued By Outdoor Sex

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Village Plagued By Outdoor Sex

A village is having to go to drastic measures to stop people from having outdoor sex.

Cotswold Way in Hinton, near Bristol, is something of a sexual hotbed according to locals who say it has been happening for years.

And now the local parish council is now seeking advice to combat the problem with that well known libido killer: Signposts.

Kerry Sawyer, chairman of the council, said anyone who sees others romping should call the police.

Angela Gent, who runs a hotel, spotted a couple getting down and dirty in full view.

She told the BBC: ‘At this point they were just coming out of the bushes and putting themselves away so to speak… What became intimidating was one man started to follow me.

‘It’s been notorious for years… people either find it funny or choose to ignore it or they don’t feel they’ll get listened to or anything will get done.’

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ASBO Sexpest Too Loud || Are You Too Loud During Sex?

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Woman given Asbo for LOUD SEX sessions says she will never be silenced – ASBO Sexpest Too Loud || Are You Too Loud During Sex?

Despite police being called 30 times, noisy neighbour Caroline Cartwright refuses to stop making a racket because “that’s what you should be doing”

A woman given an Asbo for loud SEX sessions says she will continue to make noise – as “that’s what you should be doing”.

Caroline Cartwright’s bonking sessions with husband Steve were so noisy police were called to their home to tell them to be quiet more than 30 times.

The 53-year-old from Sunderland was given an Asbo banning her from shouting, screaming or vocalising during sex.

It was put in place after she breached a noise abatement order five times and was later given a suspended jail term after going against the Asbo.

Despite facing court over the loud romping, she says she will continue having noisy sex.

Caroline, who has been married to Steve for more than 30 years, said she has no regrets after she was given a four-year anti-social behaviour order.

She said: “As far as I’m concerned, that’s what you should be doing. Just relax. Go with the flow.

“It’s not as if I’m having sex and think ‘Oh, I’m making too much noise. I better be quiet’.”

Problems began when she and Steve moved into a quiet terrace and bought a bed with an iron headboard, which banged against the wall before it broke.

She said: “I would have been judgemental about people who went to prison before I got locked up.

“But then you go in there and you hear the stories of why they’re there, it makes you realise that it could be anyone who ends up there.”

In a bid to get around restrictions, unemployed Cartwright switched the sex sessions to the morning.

However, residents, who complained she drowned out the sound of their televisions, were unimpressed.

She added: “I don’t see why I should stop having sex in my own house with my husband of 38 years.

“I’m sure there could be a lot worse things I could be doing. They all thought it was stupid I was in prison.

“I mean, I was in the same prison as people like Rose West for making a noise when I have sex.

“There could be a real crime going on while they’re busy arresting me.”

She made her comments in Asbo and Proud, shown on Channel 5 on Wednesday.

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Meat Beat || Viral #FoodPorn

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Meat porn? Naked woman transforms body into world’s most bizarre musical instrument

Nobody knows why this raunchy video was created – but it’s trending and one thing is for sure, you’ve never seen anything like it.

A woman dressed in lingerie playing music on her boobs and bum with crabs, fish and raw meat.

The video above has gone viral and nobody can explain why it was created, all they know is that it’s called ‘Meat Beat’.

Beef, chicken, steaks, prawns and salami are rhythmically slammed against parts of the unidentified musical model’s naked flesh to create drum sounds.

Some viewers compared it to an acid-infused vegetarian feminist’s nightmare, others have described it as being ‘strangely erotic meat porn’.

But most of them agree that it’s the most bizarre YouTube video this year – and possibly ever created.

The clip was uploaded on November, 26, by Death Collective, and in the past week it has racked up nearly 300,000 views.

User Iman Jaradat wrote: “Have we completely lost it as human beings? Honestly.. what is this?”

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Hardcore Dominatrix wants planning permission for XXX BDSM Fetish Bondage Sex Dungeon

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‘Sensual sadist’ dominatrix applying for planning permission for her fetish club promises to close on Sundays – Dominatrix Applies For XXX BDSM Fetish Bondage Sex Dungeon Permission

First video –

A dominatrix describing herself as a ‘sensual sadist’ is being forced to tackle the very unsexy task of getting planning permission for her fetish club – which she promises she’ll close on Sundays and Bank Holidays.

Lorraine White – AKA ‘Princess Lucina’ – who beats, restrains and humiliates men for their pleasure, was discovered to be running the fetish club without the right permission when the fire service was called to an industrial estate in 2012 and was unable to get inside the premises.

And Ms White, who describes herself as a ‘sensual sadist offering every BDSM fantasy from the mild to the wild’, is now submitting an application to Stockport Council asking for a change of use for her unit on the industrial estate from ‘Warehouse’ to ‘Place of photography and mild fetish play’.

‘I don’t care as long as everyone is consenting,’ Jason Morris, 44, who lives near the building, told the Manchester Evening News.

‘I wouldn’t have known it was there but for press coverage. As long as it stays that way I’m not bothered.’

Jacqui Wood, who is based in the same building, said: ‘If it’s legal and the landlord is OKAY with it then that’s their business.’

If the application is approved, Ms White will be allowed to keep her club open from Tuesday to Saturday, from 11pm to 7am, but she has promised to close the premises on Sundays and Bank Holidays.

She was fined £5,000 with £3,000 costs for breaching fire regulations earlier this year.

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Student Sheep Shagging For Exam Stress Relief | Animal Sex Stress Relief

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Student who ‘had sex with sheep’ was ‘stressed about exams’

A university student who is alleged to have had sex with a sheep told police he was stressed out about a midterm exam.

The 23-year-old is alleged to have been found having sex with a ewe by a fellow Fresno State University student who heard bizarre noises coming from a barn on campus.

And the unidentified student, who was arrested and charged with sexual assault of an animal, told police that he was stressed about an upcoming exam and had been drinking, according to ABC7.

‘It’s just kind of disgusting and revolting and personally makes me angry. I mean, why would you do that?’ said Marisa Burkdoll, a student who works with animals on campus.

‘It’s just kind of sick. It’s unnatural and the animals they can’t really, I mean they can’t defend themselves. They can to an extent but they’re innocent, you know what I mean?’

The sheep – one of many used for breeding at the school – is being treated by vets.

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Lesbian Porn Star Epiphany to Reborn Again Christian Mother | Porn Again Christian

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Porn Again Christian: Evangelical wife was a lesbian porn star who slept with 100 women – Lesbian Porn Star Epiphany to Reborn Again Christian Mother | Porn Again Christian

Teresa Carey says she turned her back on the X-rated industry after having an religious epiphany while listening to The Beatles

A born-again Christian has revealed how she was once a lesbian porn star who slept with more than 100 women. But just five years ago the evangelical Christian, from Gedling in Nottinghamshire, was making her living in X-rated movies.

Between 1998 and 2009, the 36-year-old slept with more than 100 women on camera and appeared naked in adult magazines including Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler.

Teresa’s entry into the world of glamour modelling began innocently enough with a few head shots for local photographers. But it wasn’t long before offers of work started rolling in and she was signed by a top London agency.

She said: “It started really just taking your top off. That was really nerve-racking at first, but obviously it progressed until that was normal, then it was ‘would you do nude?’

“And going from topless to nude wasn’t such a big step as going from clothed to topless, so it moved from that, to standing next to a girl, to hugging a girl, to kissing a girl, then all of a sudden it’s no longer stills, it’s video.

“I just found myself doing it. It wasn’t something where I thought ‘Oh, I want to be a pornstar’, I don’t think that’s the dream of any little girl.

“At the heart of every woman is a need to be adored, desired, that’s why we like to look pretty, we like to be looked at, we like to be told we’re beautiful.

“That kind of lifestyle, you get that fix, that’s kind of the allure, but while that’s going on, there’s deeper things creeping up on you.”

Her porn work required her to star in explicit girl-on-girl shoots – despite having no sexual feelings for women.

“I wasn’t really attracted to women,” she said. “The whole sexual thing was not on my radar at all, it was just the way I looked worked well for it.”

“I was completely cynical in that way. When you do it everyday, it’s as normal as going into the cupboard and seeing if there’s any crisps available, it’s that normal.

“You’re doing it day in, day out. It’s never real anyway, as much as girls like to pretend it is because it’s good for business. It was all fake.”

Teresa met husband Scott when she was 17 – and the car salesman claims that six days before their meeting, he had a sixth sense that he would meet the woman he would marry that day.

Teresa was actually seeing someone else at the time – but the couple immediately clicked and Scott was happy to settle down.

But Teresa’s life changed forever after her and Scott experienced a religious epiphany – in which they say they came face-to-face with Jesus while listening to The Beatles’ track ‘Across The Universe’.

The couple had been studying everything from Egyptology and UFOs to Buddhism and the Quran in search of life’s big truths.

Teresa said: “We had been reading the Gospel of John, the fourth gospel, and it was a day like any other.

“I’d finished work, he’d finished uploading some of my pictures to the internet, we were chilling out listening to music, and we had an out of body experience together.”

“We came face-to-face with Jesus, and from that moment on our lives have been changed.”

She added: “I didn’t get any sense of condemnation from [Jesus], that all came from myself and from other people.

“I now realise that being a porn star was not what God wanted me to be doing, but he didn’t condemn me for it.

“It’s was more ‘When you’re ready, you can come with me.’

“It was really a testament to my faith that I thought ‘I’m going to have to cut this out and I have faith that God is going to lead me into something better’.”

Teresa now regards porn, homosexuality, and pre-marital sex as “symptoms of the spiritual state the world is in”.

And despite her on-screen success, she says she was always wary of the trappings surrounding the porn industry.

Teresa deleted all her porn industry contacts in 2009 in order to devote herself exclusively to the Lord – including her money-spinning website.

She added: “People say ‘her career was gone, it’s very convenient how she’s had this epiphany’ – but that’s not true.

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Babestation Porn Accident For Posh Estate Agent Window Display

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Upmarket London estate agents show PORN on shop window TV – but staff aren’t being blamed

Satellite adult channel Babestation was inadvertently broadcast from the plush Notting Hill office of Faron Sutaria

What do estate agents sell at night? Not houses if this hilarious picture is anything to go by.

You’d need a treasure chest of cash to afford the plush properties that retail for £1million-plus in the affluent area of upmarket Notting Hill in west London.

But it was a treasured chest of a different kind that greeted shocked passers-by who looked in the window of Faron Sutaria one evening.

Because instead of magnificent mansions or top townhouses, it was the bare breasts and shaking bum of a model from late-night adult TV channel Babestation that greeted property hunters.

Twitter user @TheLondonLuke tweeted the hilarious pic earlier this month asking the estate agents: “Sacked anyone lately?”

A spokesperson for the estate agent blamed a “mischief-maker” for the porno prank.

He told the Metro: “We believe a mischief-maker changed the channel on the television from the outside using a universal remote. We have now altered the system so this cannot happen again.”

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Burglar Arrested After Raping Teddy Bear | Furry Teddy Bear Sex?

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Desperate burglar who had sex with TEDDY BEAR during raid is caught after DNA match

Paul Mountain, who violated the toy and was caught when his semen was found, said he felt an ‘overwhelming need’ for sexual relief

A randy burglar was caught after he had sex with a teddy bear while raiding a shed – and police discovered his DNA inside the toy.

Paul Mountain, 38, said he was coming down from amphetamines and felt an ‘overwhelming need’ for sexual relief, the Lancashire Telegraph reports.

It is believed he cut a hole inside the defenceless bear before getting down to business.

Blackburn Magistrates Court heard that the owner of an allotment found a shed had been broken into and the contents were spread all around.

On the floor among the wreckage she found the teddy bear – used and abused.

Prosecutor, Domenic Howells said: “The teddy bear was passed to the police and semen found inside came back to this defendant.

“He told officers he was coming down off amphetamine and felt overwhelming need for sexual relief.”

The warped crook, of Darwen, Lancs, pleaded guilty to burglary with intent to steal and was bailed for the preparation of a pre-sentence report.

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