Month: November 2016

Man Gets Charge Cable STUCK IN HIS PENIS

Chinese Man trying Urethral Stimulation with a mobile phone charge cable gets it stuck in his penis! Sex accident, sexual accident, Looking for a Urethral orgasm via stimulating the urethra with a phone cable but that sexual experiment went wrong. Phone cable stuck in penis

Man gets USB cable stuck in his penis while pleasuring himself

USB cables can be used in many ways, but ramming it into a penis is not one we recommend.

You could end up like this man from China, who was in an ‘incredible amount of pain’ after connecting himself to a cable.

The man from China’s Shaanxi Province is thought to have been drunk when he started looking up ways of pleasuring himself.

He got this particular idea from a video and, predictably, it backfired – with the poor guy realising his mistake when he couldn’t remove it.

The doctor who surgically removed the 20cm cable said: ‘He found a video online that taught him how to sexually stimulate himself with a charging cable, so he inserted one into his urethra.

‘When the patient arrived he was in an incredible amount of pain.’

The procedure lasted longer than an hour, with surgeons slicing it into three sections (the cable, not the penis).

It is unknown whether the poor soul, who is recovering in hospital, has suffered long-term damage.

He told medics that he was very embarrassed and ‘regretful’.

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NAKED ADVENT CALENDARS For The Festive Perverts Who Want A Chuckle (ReUpload)

Naked advent calendars for christmas porn to make your festive season sexy? Nude Erotic advent calendars, sexy advent calendars of festive porn, naked people like a giant naked human scratch card. Gone are the advent calendar chocolates! You can now buy a naked funny advent calendar for all your pervy friends from Mr Bingo.

Any lapsed Catholics out there will remember the crushing disappointment at receiving a religious advent calendar as a kid.

While all your mates were chowing down on chocolate Santas and reindeers, you woke up to a different bible passage every morning.

But now you’re all grown up, you buy your own. And, if you’re keen to get your hands on the most irreligious calendar going, then we’ve got just the thing for you.

No, it’s not a chocolate one.

It’s a naked advent calendar.

Day by day, you’ll be able to treat yourself by undressing a different person.

By the time it gets to December 24, you’ll just have a wall of dicks, bums and boobs.

Each person is numbered 1-24 and their clothes are printed with an opaque gold ink rub which can be removed using a coin or, if you’re in a rush, your nails.

Every calendar is signed by the artist, Mr Bingo.

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19 PENIS THEMED Things For People Who Love Cock

Penis shaped and penis themed cock loving, dick things! Penis Lipsticks, Penis Pendants, Penis Pins, Cock necklaces, penis statues, and a whole world of wangs! Penises are great. They bring the world plenty of joy. They’re very pretty… supposedly.

But they’re also hilarious. We can’t quite explain why, but it’s true. Just a doodle of a dick is enough to make us giggle like idiots.

And that is why we love penises. Because they are a thing of both beauty and hilarity. You do your thing, penises.

If you share our enjoyment of penises, you’ll like these products. Why wouldn’t you want to decorate your life with little dicks?

1. Bronze Pendant, £6,20, Sulik

2. Penis print rolling pin, £19.35, sweetrollingpins
The greatest way to jazz up your baking sesh.

3. Brass balls keychain, Supreme
Take down the patriarchy with Supreme’s brass balls keychain
Technically balls rather than a penis, but just as glorious.

4. Dick necklace, £9.68, Dekadensdesign
Shout your dick love loud and proud.

5. Cross-stitch dick badge, £10, SaraFordhamArt
Perfect for your denim jacket.

6. Pink laser cut acrylic necklace, £6.20, ALAfterDark
Pretty in pink.

7. Enamel penis pin, $7 (£5.35), mustarrrrd
This is actually really stunning.

8. Disco dick necklace, £11.62, DormouseArt
All penises should be this sparkly.

9. Cute penis keychain, £4.27, KisukoValentinesDay
Adorable.

10. Sexy cactus print, £15.49, wildonestudio
By WildOneStudio.

11. Flying penis necklace, £17.95, HellenicSteel
Yes, penises can fly (if they believe).

12. Red penis pin, £14.53, cocorina
Designed for bachelor and hen parties, but you go ahead and pin this to your clothes every damn day. Made by cocorina.

13. Dicktation notebook, £9.29, LarknRaven
Ideal for taking notes in important work meetings.

14. Flying Penis Pins, £37.17, MarsVenusJewellery
Follow your dreams, little penises.

15. Penis earrings, £7.74, WoodForBrains
A subtle way to celebrate the penis.

16. Willy print pocket square, £11.55, DickBeau
For the dapper gentleman.

17. Penis lipstick, £3.83, GrownFolk
Lips-dick.

18. Penis rubber stamp, £7.74, CrassStamps
Stamp dicks on EVERYTHING.

19. Jumbo dick trophy, £15, youdick
Display it on your mantelpiece for all to behold.

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Happy Birthday Wishes From My Nephew

My nephew singing me happy birthday. The happy birthday song from my young nephew via facebook video truly makes me feel loved and old all in equal measures 🙂

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The Grand Tour Amazon Prime Debut ~ Original UK Top Gear Returns #TheGrandTour

Today is the return of the Original UK Top Gear 3, James May, Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson. The Grand Tour Episode 1 goes live on Amazon Prime today 18th November~ Original UK Top Gear Returns #TheGrandTour. Are you excited?

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#TGT #TheGrandTour #JeremyClarkson #JamesMay #RichardHammond #TopGear

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PIZZA PORN going viral on PornHub? #FoodPorn

Pizza Porn the ultimate Food Porn on PornHub has exploded! Do you crave Pizza Sex, Sex with a pizza, Pizza delivery, Big sausage pizza, Pizza boy, Pizza delivery girl porn, Pizza guy porn, Naked pizza delivery, Pizza girl, Pizza delivery boy, Amateur pizza delivery, Sex with pizza guy porn? Then you may be a minority as PIZZA PORN is going VIRAL!

2016 has been a tough year.

There have been devastating celebrity deaths. Brexit. The Brangelina breakup.

We’ve all looked for things to cheer our hearts, lift our spirits, and keep us going until 2016 can finally come to an end.

So, really, are we at all surprised that Pornhub has reported that in the last year, they’ve seen an increase in people searching for pizza-related porn? Anything to keep you going, right?

In their latest insights blog post, Pornhub explains that their pizza themed categories have always been pretty popular.

Top pizza porn searches:

Pizza delivery
Big sausage pizza
Pizza boy
Pizza delivery girl
Pizza guy
Naked pizza delivery
Pizza girl
Pizza delivery boy
Amateur pizza delivery
Sex with pizza guy
Sausage pizza
Real pizza guy
Naked pizza dare
Flashing pizza guy
Tips or tits pizza
Pizza dare
Pizza cum
Amateur pizza dare
Pay for pizza
Open door naked pizza
Pizza that ass

They have nearly 2,000 videos with pizza in the title, and each month people search their site for pizza porn more than 500,000 times.

But this year has seen a fairly significant bump – particularly in September, which Pornhub reckons is down to ads promoting a snazzy new pizza delivery video.

Overall, searches for ‘pizza’ on pornhub have increased by 9% since 2013. ‘Pizza girl’ is having an even better time, with a massive jump in searches since last year.

The most popular search terms are ‘pizza delivery’, ‘big sausage pizza’, ‘pizza boy’, ‘pizza delivery girl’, and ‘pizza guy’.

‘Pizza that ass’ also makes an appearance, because nothing goes together like porn, pizza, and puns.

nterestingly, pizza porn isn’t hugely popular in the UK. The top pizza-porn-loving country is Romania, followed by South Korea, India and Portugal.

Men are also more 23% more likely to search for pizza porn than women, and the age group that loves pizza porn the most are 18-24s. Good to know.

It’s totally okay if you’re now in the midst of an uncomfortable mixture of hungry and horny (AKA horngry).

Order pizza, watch some porn, and try not to visualise the delivery man’s penis anywhere near what you’re currently putting in your mouth. Unless you’re into that. Good luck.

Read more: ift.tt/2fG7xRy

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BANNED FROM YOUTUBE? ~ Thank You @ICGuild & @PornHub

Why was my channel banned from YouTube? and ho The Internet Creators Guild and PORNHUB saved me. Saturday morning I woke up to find I had been suspended or terminated from YouTube. In a panic I searched for a way to appeal or how to get unsuspended from YouTube.

It seems that someone didn’t like my recent 8 Horrifying Sex Accidents video and flagged me until my channel was banned. However when I called for help you guys and gals came to my aid!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!

ICG Internet Creators Guild – ift.tt/28YSfXm
Thank you PORNHUB – pornhub.com
Form to appeal if you channel is banned – ift.tt/1UYfkrn

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THE PRESIDENT-ELECT DONALD J TRUMP [RANT]

Donald Trump wins the Presidential Election to become the new President-elect of the United States Of America. Trump beats Clinton to become the 45th President Of The United States.

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PORN CINEMA ‘Erotic Paradiso’ sex cinema coming to London

Porno in a Porn Cinema? London is getting a brand spanking new sex cinema. Erotica cinemas and sex cinemas are a throwback to the porn video shops of the past but london will be getting an erotic sex cinema soon.

Funny sexy videos – ift.tt/1qwEyo1

There was a time, believe it or not, where if you wanted to watch porn you had to rent it from the back room of the video shop.

But before that, even further back in the dim and distant past, if you wanted to watch people having sex then you had to high tail it down to Soho, buy a ticket and sit in a cinema. Which seems like quite a heavy commitment to wank fodder.

Then of course the internet happened and porn became about as easy to access as oxygen.

Soho became frequented by coffee shops that sell you a latte for £6 instead of mac clad men wanking furtively into a cinema seat.

Now Matthew Holroyd, founder of Baron & Baroness magazine, is bringing back the idea of the erotic cinema, hopefully without the sleazy connotations.

The cinema, situated at the Ditto gallery in Islington, will be London’s only erotic cinema, despite the fact that Soho was once chocka with them.

Holroyd told the Evening Standard: “When we visualise sex and the moving image it is pornography that most people will think of but sex can have a higher value than that.

‘You don’t have to come in a leather mac to watch these films.”

Tickets for the cinema cost a very reasonable £10, and you can enjoy films including The Last Peep Show in Soho by Edith Bergfors, lesbian rom-com `Tokyo Midnight’ by Eori Wakakuwa and new release My Little Cupcake, a new cross dressing thriller by Eloise Parry.

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Is PornHub buying Vine?

PornHub could be saving Vine from shutting down! – As twitter closed Vine the end of vine, Pornhub makes offer to buy Vine saying ‘six seconds is more than enough’. Basically leading to NSFW Vine, VIne Porn, Porn VIne, Vine Hub, VinePorn Hub, Porn Vine Hub? XXX Vine XXX Twitter shuts Vine. #Vine #NSFW #Porn #Twitter

Twitter is killing off its video-sharing service Vine – but there could be a pornographic saviour on the horizon.

The app, famous for its short videos lasting just six seconds, is set to close down in the coming months, with people urged to download their videos so that they don’t lose them.

But an unexpected white knight could offer hope for Vine yet.

Who is it?

It’s Pornhub.

The company’s CEO Corey Price has written to Twitter founder Jack Dorsey offering to buy it, saying that it wants to ‘bring back to its NSFW glory’.

To be clear, Vine would relaunch with six second porn videos. It would stay, but in a different form to the Vine we have come to know and love.

According to Price, the current videos would remain online (and we assume people could still create their own, not necessarily porn ones.)

Okay then.

‘My company Pornhub, the leading adult entertainment site with more than 60 million daily visitors, has a lot in common with Vine,’ the letter said, according to Cnet. ‘Now, before you start rolling your eyes, hear me out Jack.

‘We’re interested in purchasing Vine from you. We figure since Twitter has dropped it and is having significant layoffs that you and your stakeholders could benefit from a cash infusion from the sale of Vine’.

However, some think the whole thing is just a mean joke poking fun at Twitter’s recent money troubles (it just laid off hundreds of staff).

The letter asks to set up a meeting asap, so watch this space.

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