Month: July 2014

Woman Leaves Sex Toy In Vagina For 10 Years

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Woman Leaves Sex Toy In Vagina For 10 Years

After complaining of various health problems, a Scottish woman was found to have a sex toy inside her vagina – and that it had been left there for 10 years.

According to a report by STV News, the 38-year-old visited Aberdeen Royal Infirmary after contracting sepsis and experiencing severe weight loss and urinary incontinence.  At the hospital, doctors conducted an X-ray of her abdomen, which showed the five-inch toy protruding into her bladder from her vagina.

According to the Daily Mail, the woman admitted to using the sex toy with her partner 10 years ago; she also noted that she had been under the influence of alcohol at the time and could not recall removing the toy.

After this revelation, the woman was diagnosed with vesicovaginal fistula – a condition that causes urine to flow into the vagina – as well as obstructive uropathy – in which a blockage in the bladder causes urine to back up into the kidneys.  Surgeons at Aberdeen successfully removed the sex toy and repaired the near life-threatening damage.

Detailed in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the case may be the first time a sex toy has been left inside a woman’s body for such a long time. The longest known retention of a foreign object was 35 years.

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The Karate Kid Movie Review #HairyMovieClub

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NEXT WEEK WE REVIEW – DEMOLITION MAN

The Karate Kid is a 1984 American martial arts romantic drama film directed by John G. Avildsen and written by Robert Mark Kamen, starring Ralph Macchio (who was 22 years old during principal photography), Noriyuki “Pat” Morita and Elisabeth Shue.[3][4] It is an underdog story in the mold of a previous success, Avildsen’s 1976 film Rocky. It was a commercial success upon release, and garnered favorable critical acclaim, earning Morita an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

Daniel LaRusso, a high school senior, moves with his mother Lucille from Newark, New Jersey to Reseda, a neighborhood in the Los Angeles, California San Fernando Valley area. Their apartment’s handyman is an eccentric but kindly and humble Okinawan immigrant named Kesuke Miyagi.

Daniel befriends Ali Mills, an attractive high school cheerleader, which draws the attentions of her arrogant ex-boyfriend, Johnny Lawrence, a skilled practitioner of “Cobra Kai”, an unethical and vicious form of karate. Johnny and his Cobra Kai gang continually torment Daniel, savagely beating him until Mr. Miyagi intervenes and single-handedly defeats the five attackers with ease. Amazed, Daniel asks Mr. Miyagi to be his teacher. Miyagi refuses, but agrees to bring Daniel to the Cobra Kai dojo to resolve the conflict. They meet with the sensei, John Kreese, a ex-Special Forces Vietnam veteran who callously dismisses the peace offering. Miyagi then proposes that Daniel enter the All-Valley Karate Tournament, where he can compete with Johnny and the other Cobra Kai students on equal terms, and requests that the bullying cease while Daniel trains. Kreese agrees to the terms, but warns that if Daniel does not show up for the tournament, the harassment will resume and Miyagi himself will also become a target.

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Coolio To Team Up With PornHub

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Coolio set to premiere his latest music video on PornHub

Coolio, remember him? Well he’s still desperately trying to bag that follow-up hit to his 90s rap classic Gangsta’s Paradise.

And for his latest shot at the big time he’s teamed up with internet porn sharing site PornHub.

According to Hollywood gossip site TMZ, PornHub provided the ‘talent’ (read video chicks) for the video, and have struck a deal with the ageing rapper to premiere the resulting video for the appropriately named Take It To The Hub on their site.

We can’t work out who comes out worse in this scenario, Coolio or PornHub. Actually scrap that it’s PornHub, definitely PornHub. Coolio? Really? What were they thinking?

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Adolf Hitler Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize & Other Facts

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1. The dates 4/4, 6/6, 8/8, 10/10, and 12/12 all fall on the same day of the week during any one year.

They’re called doomsdays, which are part of an algorithm designed to tell you the day of the week that any date of the year falls on.

2. The official color of the universe is “Cosmic Latte” (#FFF8E7).
The official color of the universe is “Cosmic Latte” (#FFF8E7).

In 2001, Johns Hopkins astronomers Karl Glazebrook and Ivan Baldry determined that the color of the universe was a greenish white, but they soon corrected their analysis in a 2002 paper, in which they reported that their survey of the color of all light in the universe averaged a slightly beigeish white. The survey included more than 200,000 galaxies, and measured the spectral range of the light from a large volume of the universe.
3. A Swedish couple named their kid “Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.” The name is pronounced “Albin.”

They claimed it was “a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation.” Sweden fined them 5,000 kronor.

4. In 1938, Adolf Hitler was Time magazine’s Man of the Year and in 1939, he was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

World War II began in 1939.

5. There are no clocks in Las Vegas casinos.

(The reason? To get you to lose track of time and keep gambling all of your cash away.)

6. Some people claim an episode of Johnny Bravo predicted 9/11.
Some people claim an episode of Johnny Bravo predicted 9/11.

In this scene from a Johnny Bravo episode that aired on the Cartoon Network on April 27, 2001, a movie poster appears to show a burning tower emitting a smoke cloud with the ominous words “COMING SOON.”

7. A “dancing plague” killed people in Strasbourg in 1518.
A “dancing plague” killed people in Strasbourg in 1518.

A “dancing mania” began in July 1518, when a woman, Frau Troffea, began to dance fervently in a street in Strasbourg for about four to six days. Within a week, 34 others had joined, and within a month, there were around 400 dancers. Some of these people eventually died from heart attack, stroke, or exhaustion.
8. Harry Nilsson’s song “Coconut” (“she put the lime in the coconut,” etc.) has only one chord in the entire song. It is the only song without any chord changes to reach the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

It reached No. 8 in 1972.

9. Applying a male’s underarm sweat to a female’s lips can help women relax, boost their mood and help regulate their menstrual cycle.
Applying a male’s underarm sweat to a female’s lips can help women relax, boost their mood and help regulate their menstrual cycle.

…and it tastes…great?

10. The USSR requested a white-colored Coca-Cola in the 1940s so that it looked like vodka.

Marshal of the Soviet Union Georgy Zhukov requested a clear version of the drink so that he wouldn’t be seen drinking Coca-Cola in public, as it was regarded in the Soviet Union as a symbol of American imperialism. To fill his request, a chemist removed the soda’s caramel color, and they put the drink in a clear bottle with a white cap and red star. Fifty cases were sent over.

11. Caligula, the emperor of Rome from 37 to 41 CE, ordered his troops to go to war with the sea.
Caligula, the emperor of Rome from 37 to 41 CE, ordered his troops to go to war with the sea.

He made them bring back seashells as “plunders of war,” indicative of his victory against Neptune.

12. Technically speaking, a female dude is a “dudine.”

13. Tiger sharks’ fetuses fight, and sometimes cannibalize, each other in the womb. The survivor is born.
Tiger sharks’ fetuses fight, and sometimes cannibalize , each other in the womb. The survivor is born.

14. If you eat a polar bear liver, you’ll probably die.

Their livers contain a toxic (to humans) amount of vitamin A.

15. Shoppers are far more likely to buy French wine when French music is playing in the background of a store, and German wine when German music is playing.

16. The national anthem of Greece has 158 stanzas.

17. Marilyn Monroe had a higher IQ (163) than that of Albert Einstein (160).

18. Sloppy doctors’ handwriting accounts for 7,000 deaths a year.

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Online piracy will no longer be a criminal offence in the UK

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The British government has now decided to decriminalise the piracy of films, music and games – meaning that users caught downloading and sharing pirated material will no longer be fined or prosecuted.

Starting in 2015, those caught pirating material online will receive four letters telling the individual that they have committed an illegal offence….and, well that’s it.

The reason for the change in policy is that the government have found the current punishment plans to be largely unworkable – and pretty sensibly so. Ofcom recently released figures stating that almost a quarter of all downloads in the UK were of something pirated – which would be a hell of a lot of people to prosecute.

While after next year individuals will no longer be fined or prosecuted, the government says it will still continue to try and stop the funding of pirating sites, but overall – it seems like our government has given up the fight against online piracy.

For more information on the policy check out the full bill here.

For the rest of us – its time to dig out that Jack Sparrow costume and get on the rum.

Fifty Shades Of Grey – Trailer Lands – Ovaries Explode Worldwide

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You might need to take a cold shower after watching the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer.

NBC’s Today premiered the first look at the film adaptation of E.L. James‘ best-selling erotic novel Thursday. The movie, directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, stars Northern Irishman Jamie Dornan as domineering billionaire Christian Grey and California girl Dakota Johnson as ingénue Anastasia Steele.

In addition to the two leads, the currently unrated flick stars Jennifer Ehle, Marcia Gay Harden, Luke Grimes, Max Martini, Eloise Mumford, Dylan Neal, Rita Ora, Victor Rasuk and Callum Keith Rennie.

Dornan, 32, and Johnson, 24, made a joint appearance on Today to promote the trailer’s unveiling.

Johnson admitted she was “a little” nervous to take on the role, saying, “We’ll see what they think.”

Today co-anchor Savannah Guthrie mentioned that Dornan’s fans had specifically requested that he do the interview shirtless. “He has fans,” Johnson joked. “I have no fans.” Dornan deadpanned, “I could have done that if you’d ask me.” He added, “I would have thought about it. I would’ve considered it.”

PHOTOS: Jamie Dornan’s sexiest moments ever

What was it like getting naked and bringing the book’s explicit sex scenes to life? “It’s not like a romantic situation. It’s more, like, technical and choreographed,” Johnson explained. “It’s like more of a task.”

“Cheers,” Dornan said, pretending to be offended.

All jokes aside, it was important that Dornan establish chemistry with Johnson. “We got ourselves into situations that don’t feel too natural and are not that easy,” he said. “You need to have the trust there.

NEWS: Say what?! Jamie Dornan claims he doesn’t like his body

Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan

The titillating trailer shows Dornan’s Christina seducing Johnson’s Anastasia and introducing her to his red room of pain. The sneak peek also features an exclusive version of “Crazy in Love” by Beyoncé.

“She’s a good friend of ours,” Dornan joked. He then admitted, “We don’t know her.”

Fifty Shades of Grey, which was originally slated to hit theaters in next month, premieres Feb. 14, 2015.

(E!, NBC, Universal Pictures and Focus Features are all part of the NBCUniversal family.)

Naked selfies extracted from ‘factory reset’ phones

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Experts Recover Dick Pics and Naked Photos from Smartphones – Naked selfies extracted from ‘factory reset’ phones

Thousands of pictures including “naked selfies” have been extracted from factory-wiped phones by a Czech Republic-based security firm.

The firm, called Avast, used publicly available forensic security tools to extract the images from second-hand phones bought on eBay.

Other data extracted included emails, text messages and Google searches.

Experts have warned that the only way to completely delete data is to “destroy your phone”.

Most smartphones come with a “factory reset” option, which is designed to wipe and reset the device, returning it to its original system state.

However, Avast has discovered that some older smartphones only erase the indexing of the data and not the data itself, which means pictures, emails and text messages can be recovered relatively easily by using standard forensic tools that anyone can buy and download.

The company claims that of 40,000 stored photos extracted from 20 phones purchased from eBay, more than 750 were of women in various stages of undress, along with 250 selfies of “what appears to be the previous owner’s manhood”.

There was an additional 1,500 family photos of children, 1,000 Google searches, 750 emails and text messages and 250 contact names and email addresses.

The company said: “Deleting files from your Android phone before selling it or giving it away is not enough. You need to overwrite your files, making them irretrievable.”

It was not made clear by Avast whether they extracted data from all 20 phones.
Destroy the phone

Google responded that Avast used outdated smartphones and that their research did not “reflect the security protections in Android versions that are used by the vast majority of users”.

It was recommended by Google that all users enable encryption on their devices before applying a factory reset to ensure files cannot be accessed.

This feature, said Google, has been available for three years, although it is not enabled by default, which could leave less tech-savvy users open to attack.

Apple has had built-in encryption for its hardware and firmware since the release of the iPhone 3GS.

The hardware encryption is permanently enabled and users cannot turn it off.

Additional file data protection is available, but must be turned on in the settings menu.

Independent computer security analyst Graham Cluley said that if a user is serious about privacy and security they should make sure their device is always “protected with a PIN or passphrase, and that the data on it is encrypted”.

However, Alan Calder, founder of cybersecurity and risk management firm IT Governance, told the BBC that erasing data, even after it has been encrypted, will not be enough to completely protect your device.

“Google’s recommended routine for protecting the data only makes it harder for someone to recover the data – it does not make it impossible,” he said.

“If you don’t want your data recovered, destroy the phone – and that has been standard security advice, in relation to telephones and computer drives, for a number of years. Any other ‘solution’ simply postpones the point at which someone is able to access your confidential data.”

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RoboCop Full Movie Review #HairyMovieClub

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NEXT WEEK IS …… THE KARATE KID

Robocop is a 1987 American science fiction action film directed by Paul Verhoeven and written by Edward Neumeier and Michael Miner. The film stars Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Dan O’Herlihy, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, and Ronny Cox. Set in a crime-ridden Detroit, Michigan in the near future, RoboCop centers on police officer Alex Murphy (Weller) who is brutally murdered by a gang of criminals and subsequently revived by the malevolent mega-corporation Omni Consumer Products (OCP) as a superhuman cyborg law enforcer known as “RoboCop”.

Some time in the future Detroit, Michigan is a near-dystopia and on the verge of collapse due to financial ruin and rampant crime. To escape mass collapse, the city mayor has signed a deal with the mega-corporation Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to allow them to run the underfunded police force, in exchange for allowing OCP to demolish the run-down sections of Detroit and construct a high-end utopia called “Delta City” to be managed by OCP as an independent city-state.

This move angers the police officers as they are now beholden to OCP, and threaten to strike, but OCP evaluates other options for law enforcement. OCP senior president Dick Jones (Ronny Cox) offers the ED-209 enforcement droid, but when it kills a board member during a demonstration, the OCP chairman, “The Old Man” (Dan O’Herlihy) decides to go with the experimental cyborg design titled “RoboCop” as suggested by the younger Bob Morton (Miguel Ferrer), infuriating Jones, who objects to the idea of a human having robotic parts.

A recently-deceased officer is needed for the RoboCop prototype, so OCP re-assigns police officers to more crime-ridden districts, expecting officers to be killed in the line of duty. One such officer is Alex J. Murphy (Peter Weller), who is teamed with Anne Lewis (Nancy Allen). On their first patrol, they chase down a gang led by the ruthless criminal Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith), tailing them to an abandoned steel mill. When Murphy and Lewis are separated, Murphy is brutally gunned down by Boddicker and his gang.

Murphy is quickly pronounced dead and is chosen for the RoboCop program. He is given three primary directives: 1. serve the public trust; 2. protect the innocent; and 3. uphold the law, but the scientists are unaware of a fourth directive in Murphy’s programming. Murphy single-handedly and efficiently cleans Detroit of crime, and Morton is given lavish praise for his success, drawing Jones’ ire. Boddicker ultimately assassinates Morton, under orders from Jones. Meanwhile, Lewis eventually discovers that Murphy is RoboCop. Murphy himself experiences past events from his life, and at one point returns to his former home, finding his wife and son had long since moved away, thinking that Murphy has died.

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Woman Teaches WORLDS DEADLIEST BLOWJOB Technique

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Killer blow job: Sexpert says her technique is so good it can kill you

Warning: This article is definitely NSFW

A woman claims her fellatio technique is so effective that men have died mid-blow job.

Sexpert Auntie Angel, AKA Denise Walker, told VICE her unique blow job move — dubbed the ‘Death Technique’ — has caused ‘massive heart attacks’ in men.

In a video on her YouTube channel, Angel, 43, explains her signature method, which involves a warm grapefruit with a hole in it and a bizarre, hoover-like noise.

The former mechanic, who revealed she got the idea when experimenting with fruit on a former boyfriend, said: ‘I have had women who have given their men my blowjobs and the men have passed away.’

As for the hoover noise — described by one YouTube user as ‘a vacuum cleaner dealing with a very thick carpet’ — Angel said she ‘wanted to do something that was so out-of-the-box that he would never forget you until the day he died.’

Chicago-based Angel has reportedly taught over 50,000 people in the last 10 years at her sex classes.

‘My advice for women is to become a beast,’ she said, but warned:

‘You suck at your own risk!’

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9 Alternative Hay Fever Wonder Cures | #HayFever

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9 Alternative Hayfever Wonder Cures

Hayfever is a horrible crime, pollen abuses and enters suffers in dare I say it FLOWERY RAPE.

It reduces people to slimey, sniffley, sneezing mess’

Supposedly there are cures so here are a few urban myths and medications

Honey
Honey is said to cure hay fever because the bee pollen in honey can desensitise your body to other pollens. Increasing honey in your daily dietary intake should reduce hay fever symptoms significantly. Make sure you use local honey to your area to see the best results.

When to take – daily before hayfever season

Vitamin C
Vitamin C is a known natural antihistamine and can be found in oranges, lemons and grapefruit. Also present are bioflavonoids, which have powerful anti-allergy effects. The combination of vitamin C and bioflavonoids provides a natural decongestant and antihistamine for sufferers and helps alleviate symptoms effectively. Oranges are a good dose of vitamin C or you can take a supplement.

When to take: 1,000mg of vitamin C a day.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Red peppers and chilli peppers contain an active component called capsaicin. When eaten, this component opens nasal passages and helps reduce congestion brought on by hay fever, alleviating symptoms significantly.

When to take: Add to your daily diet, on salads or cooked with your evening meal.

Carotenoids
Naturally occurring pigments in plants, carotenoids act as powerful antioxidants to help reduce inflammation in your airways and improve your immune system. A good source of carotenoids can be found in foods such as carrots, apricots, pumpkin, sweet potato and spinach.

When to take: One to two servings of carotenoid-rich food per day.

Chamomile tea
An antioxidant and antihistamine, chamomile tea also contains flavonoids and acts effectively as an anti-inflammatory agent. While best taken as a cuppa during the day, chamomile tea can also be used as an eye compress. The compress provides a cooling effect to swollen, red eyes caused by hay fever and reduces irritability considerably.

When to take: Daily – as a cuppa, or as an eye compress. Make sure to use a fresh compress for each eye to avoid infection.

Garlic
Increasing your dietary intake of garlic can help boost your body’s immune system, while also acting as a decongestant and helping to alleviate minor hay fever symptoms. It’s also an anti-inflammatory and a good source of quercetin, a natural antihistamine.

When to take: With meals, one or two months before the hay season starts, but most effective when eaten crushed or raw. If you can’t stomach that, try garlic capsules from your local pharmacy.

Acupuncture
Research has found that the ancient Chinese medicine of acupuncture can reduce hay fever symptoms, such as a runny nose and itchy eyes, dramatically. Using sterile needles, acupuncture pinpoints specific areas of the body and helps relieve any symptoms caused by current ailments. Studies have shown that acupuncture has a positive effect on alleviating hay fever symptoms.

When to try: Sufferers should have four to six acupuncture sessions before hay fever season starts to see the best results.

Self-hypnosis
Recent studies have shown that sufferers trained to use self-hypnosis saw a dramatic reduction in their hay fever symptoms, such as a runny nose and irritated throat. They were taught a special self-relaxation technique and soon noticed less discomfort when the first symptoms of hay fever appeared.

When to try:Prior to hay fever season.

Vaseline
Spreading a thin layer of Vaseline inside the lower nostrils can help combat hay fever and reduce symptoms significantly. The Vaseline traps pollen entering the nostrils,effectively blocking it from entering the nasal passages and stopping hay fever symptoms from worsening.

When to take: Daily during hay fever season, before leaving the house.

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tags : hayfever,hay fever,Allergic Rhinitis,pollen,flowers,honey,garlic,vitamin C,cures,hay fever cures,Carotenoids,Health,Acupuncture,hay fever symptoms,Self-hypnosis,Natural,Cure,how to cure hay fever,natural cures,alternative hay fever cures

Contact Lens Eats Students Eye!

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Contact Lens Eats Students Eye! – This is Why You Should Take Out Your Contact Lenses!

Student’s eyeballs EATEN by bug after she failed to clean contact lenses

Doctors said Lian Kao, 23, was infected by a single-cell amoeba because she failed to carry out basic hygiene

A student’s eyeballs were DEVOURED by a bug – after she failed to clean her disposable contact lenses for more than six months.

Doctors said 23-year-old Lian Kao’s case is an extreme lesson in the importance of basic hygiene.

Under pressure because of her university studies, the young woman failed to take ever contact lenses and wash them once for half a year.

When she eventually went to hospital, medics were horrified when they removed the contact lenses to find that the surface of the girl’s eyes had literally been eaten by a single-cell amoeba.

The bug had been able to breed in the perfect conditions that existed between the contact lens and the eye.

Lian Kao has been left blinded as a result.

Doctor Wu Jian-liang, said: “Contact lens wearers are a high-risk group that can easily be exposed to eye diseases.

“A shortage of oxygen can destroy the surface of the epithelial tissue, creating tiny wounds into which the bacteria can easily infect, spreading to the rest of the eye and providing a perfect breeding ground.

“The girl should have thrown the contact lenses away after a month but instead she overused them and has now permanently damaged her corneas.”

He said that she had been diagnosed with acanthamoeba keratitis, which although rare was always more common in the summer.

Dr Jian-liang revealed the girl’s case to shock other contact lens wearers into being more careful about hygiene.

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Police To Hand Out Weed Scratch Cards

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Police to hand out scratch and sniff cannabis cards

Scratch-and-sniff cards loaded with the scent of cannabis are being handed out by police to help residents identify dope farms in their area.

Today’s drive, the second phase of a campaign launched last year, aims to educate the public about how growing plants smell so they can alert police.

It is hoped to have a knock-on effect on other crimes, such as human trafficking and possession of weapons.

Det Supt Kath Barnes, of Hampshire Police — one of 17 forces across England and Wales taking part in the initiative — said: ‘Cannabis is often seen as harmless and somehow acceptable. This is just not the case.

‘It’s harmful to use and many people, including children, across the world are exploited in furtherance of its trade.’ About a fifth of trafficking victims thought to have been criminally exploited were forced into helping grow the drug in 2012, according to the UK Human Trafficking Centre.

Meanwhile, Ofgem revealed last summer that a third of energy theft costs were because of weed farms.

The cards also highlight telltale signs that a property is being used to grow cannabis, such as constantly covered windows or strong lighting being left on.

National police lead for cannabis Ch Supt Bill Jephson said: ‘I would urge everyone to act as our eyes and ears or, in this case, our noses to sniff out criminals.’

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Giraffe Sex and X Rated Panda Porn | Animal Sex Facts

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Honey Bee: Exploding Testicles.

A virgin queen that survives to adulthood without being killed by her rivals will take a mating flight with a dozen or so male drones (out of tens of thousands eligible bachelors in the colony). But don’t call these drones lucky because during mating, their genitals explode and snap off inside the queen!

Bonobos

Bonobos use sex as greetings, a mean of solving disputes, making up for fights, and as a favors in exchange for food. They tongue kiss, engage in oral sex, mutual masturbations, have face-to-face genital sex and even have a strange “penis fencing” ritual!

Red-Sided Garter Snake: An Annual Mating Ball Orgy

he annual mating of red-sided garter snakes is a tourist attraction in Manitoba, Canada. That’s because when a female garter snake emerges from hibernation, she releases a pheromone that attracts hundreds of male snakes in the vicinity to rush her and create a large squirming “mating ball.”

Hyena: The Females Got Balls!

Female hyenas wear the pants in the family. They’re bigger and stronger than the males. And definitely much more aggressive. Heck, they even got balls. Really.

A female hyena has a pseudopenis, basically an enlarged clitoris, that they can erect at will. To mate, the meeker male has to insert his penis into her pseudopenis. That’s difficult for the males, but still nothing compared to the female having to give birth through a penis!

Giraffe Love Sex with… everything!

With that ridiculously long neck of theirs, mating is hard work for male giraffes. So, when a male happens upon a female giraffe, he will perform a procedure known as the “fleshmen sequence” to see if she is in estrus. First, he nudges her rump to induce urination. He then takes a mouthful of urine. If it tastes good to him, then he begins to court her.

Actually, “court” may be too strong a word: the male giraffe basically follows her around until she gives in and lets him have her!

Dolphin Penis: That’s Not His Hand.

Here’s something you probably don’t know about Flipper: he has retractable penis. Male dolphins also have a very strong sex drive. It can mate many, many times in a day. Now here’s the bad news: male dolphins aren’t that much of a stud. The average time to ejaculation? 12 seconds.

Percula Clownfish: Your Mommy Was Your Daddy.

Clownfish live in a group consisting of a breeding pair of male and female, as well as some non-breeding males. There is strict hierarchy based on size: the largest is the female, next largest is the male, and then the non-breeding males.

Giant Panda: X-Rated Panda Porn!

For a while, zookeepers had trouble getting pandas raised in captivity to breed. In fact, male and female pandas showed little interest in sex – that is until someone at the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding and Research Base in Sichuan Province, China, had the bright idea of showing them panda porn!

Now, when pandas reach adulthood, zookeepers there show them steamy videos of panda sex as part of their initiation rites.

Galapagos Giant Tortoise: The Longest Neck Wins.

To determine who gets to mate, male Galapagos giant tortoises will rise on their legs and stretch their necks. The shorter tortoise will cry uncle and leave the taller, larger tortoise to mate.

Garden Snail: Love Darts

Snails’ genitals are on their necks, right behind their eye-stalks. Not weird enough? Read on.

Snails are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both male and female sexual organs, but they do not self-fertilize.

Bedbug: Traumatic Insemination

Here’s chivalry for you: the male bedbugs don’t even bother with the female’s sex organs. Instead, a male bedbug uses its scimitar-like sexual organ to impale the female bedbug’s body and deposit his sperm!

Scientists even have a cute name for this sort of thing: “traumatic insemination.” Ouch!

Porcupine: Wee Marks the Spot.

First of all, female porcupines are interested in sex only about 8 to 12 hours in a year!  Second, to court a female during the short mating season, a male porcupine stands up on his hind legs, waddles up to her, and then sprays her with a huge stream of urine from as far as 6 feet away, and drench his would-be paramour from head to foot!

If she is ready, then she’ll rear up to expose her quill-less underbelly and let the male mount her from the behind (that’s the only safe position for porcupines!). Once mating begins, the female is insatiable: she forces the male to mate many times until he is thoroughly exhausted. If he gets tired too quickly, she will leave him for another male!

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Bouncy Castle Of Boobies #lol #funnynews #Blog

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Boob bouncy castle might be the best bouncy castle the world has ever seen

Boobs, breasts, knockers, funbags… call ’em what you will, there’s no denying a large proportion of the world think breasts are great.

And clearly that includes zany British inventor duo Bompas & Parr, who have just created what might be the best bouncy castle the world has ever seen.

As part of a new installation at New York City’s Museum Of Sex the two have erected an enormous bouncy castle made of giant breasts.

Big ones, small ones, pert ones and slightly deflated ones — as in nature, so here too they are available in all sizes, shapes and colours.

Called Jump For Joy, the bouncy castle (they call it a moonbounce in the US, cute) is part of the Funland: Pleasures & Perils of the Erotic Fairground exhibition that also includes Grope Mountain, a wall of orifices and appendages you can actually climb, and a ‘climactic’, mirrored, labyrinthine Tunnel Of Love that leads you to the G-spot while classical music reaches a crescendo in the background.

Okaaaay.

Goes without saying this is not one to take the kids to next bank hols.

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Obama Urinal Cake | Americans Pee On Barack Obama’s Face?

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You can now pee on Barack Obama’s face (and the White House isn’t very happy about it)

The White House has slammed photos of a Barack Obama urinal cake.

Those attending a Faith and Freedom Coalition Conference in Washington could pee on the American president’s face.

Igor Bobic, associate editor for The Huffington Post, tweeted a photo of the offending urinal.

Dan Pfeiffer, senior adviser at the White House, responded to the pictures on Twitter, branding them ‘totally uncalled for’ and commenting on the size of Obama’s ears.

It’s unclear who was responsible for putting the figurines in the urinals.

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